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If you have ever watched track and field competitions, you know that relay races are usually won or lost in the transfer of the baton. So it is with the Christian life. When members of one generation are committed to the Gospel of Jesus Christ and are determined to finish strong, they rarely fumble the baton. But getting the handoff securely in the hands of children can be difficult and risky.
Steve Green’s song “Find Us Faithful” says it well: “Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful; May the fire of our devotion light their way; May the footprints that we leave; Lead them to believe; And the lives we live inspire them to obey.”
Dr. Dobson shares his struggles as a young father when he had a tendency to run himself ragged. Can you relate to any of this: chronic overcommitment, fatigue, or time pressure? At NASA, I once took a training class that said we exhibited “More-On” behavior. We tend to take more & more work on without removing anything from our plates. I often tell people, “NASA will take as much as you’re willing to give it.” I think that’s true of most organizations (including and probably even more so in churches and volunteer activities!).
Dr. Dobson notes that he believes most men have dealt with those circumstances in one way or another. It is an American way of life. In fact, he points out that after talking with thousands of guys of all ages, those who are middle-aged or older usually harbor deep regrets about their priorities. Those who have “Type-A” personalities have bumped their heads on the same rock. They began adult life with an unquenchable thirst for power, possessions, success, achievement, and position, which led to constant time pressure, exhaustion, marital conflict and/or divorce, and ultimately, alienation from children.
The only way to get off the “crazy train” is to make the tough decisions to slow it down. While that’s easier said than done, it is worth making the sacrifices necessary to achieve a reasonable pace of living.
Dr. Dobson shares a letter he received from his father when he, too, was riding the “crazy train”: “One of the greatest delusions is to suppose that children will be devout Christians simply because their parents have been. They are also unlikely to be deeply committed to their faith if their moms and dads have been lukewarm about spiritual matters. You and Shirley should devote yourselves wholeheartedly to a deep travail of prayer on behalf of the children God gives you… But this prayer demands time—time that cannot be given if it is all signed and conscripted and laid on the altar of career ambition.”
Dr. Dobson then shared what he and his wife Shirley prayed: “Heavenly Father, here we are once more with the cry of our hearts. We’ve come to tell you what you already know, that we care more about the spiritual welfare of our children than any other aspect of our lives. It is more important to us than our health, our work, our reputations, or our possessions. We know there will come a time when our children will be beyond our influence. They will be challenged by the temptations of life. We ask that at that junction between righteousness and unrighteousness, that You place a godly man or woman at that point. Help those influencers to direct them toward the path they should take. Most of all, may the circle be unbroken on the other side of this life, and grant each of us eternal life, which we will celebrate in Your presence forever.”
Leaders of the Catholic Church have been widely quoted as saying, “Give us a child until he is 7, and we’ll have him for life.” They are usually correct because permanent attitudes can be instilled during these 7 vulnerable years. George Barna’s studies confirm that, noting how it becomes progressively more difficult to influence children spiritually as they grow older. The data shows that if a person does not accept Jesus Christ as Savior before the age of 14, the likelihood of ever doing so is slim.
Remember the words of Joel 1:3, “Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation.”
A close-knit family is what keeps boys and girls grounded when the world is enticing them to break loose. If you do the job effectively, it will be easier to introduce your children to Jesus Christ. Remember this: If they know you care, you’ll be more effective in teaching them what you believe!
Remember the words of Solomon in Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Dobson explains, “I wish Solomon’s message to us could be interpreted that definitely. I know that the common understanding of the passage is to accept it as a divine guarantee, but it was not expressed in that context. Psychiatrist John White, in Parents in Pain, makes the case that the proverbs were never intended to be absolute promises from God. Instead, they are ‘probabilities’ of things that are likely to occur. Solomon, who wrote the wonderful book of Proverbs, was the wisest man on the earth at that time. His purpose was to convey his divinely inspired observations on the way human nature and God’s universe work. Though the proverbs are generally true, occasional exceptions may be noted. It is generally true, however, that most children who are brought up in Christian homes, under the influence of godly parents who teach and live God’s standards, follow that training.”
In Rich Kids, Sociologist John Sedgwick reports a study of young men and women who inherit large estates. Those who come into wealth are more likely to become alcoholics, philanderers, gamblers, or at best, self-possessed and selfish people. The very characteristics that made their parents and grandparents successful, notably hard work, frugality, wise investments, and careful planning are often diminished in the next generation. This isn’t always true, of course, but it certainly can be.
1 Timothy 6:10 points out, “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many (sorrows).” Here is the crux of the matter: money is power, and power is inherently corrupting. Lord Acton said, “Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.” That is one of the most astute observations of human nature ever spoken.
What about Grandparents? Dobson explains, “The lyrics of an old African folk song say that when an old person dies, it’s as if a library has burned down. It is true. There’s a richness in history in your memory of earlier days that will be lost if it isn’t passed on to the next generation. To preserve this heritage, you should tell them true stories of days gone by. Share about your faith, about your early family experiences, about the obstacles you overcame or the failures you suffered. Those recollections bring a family together and give it a sense of identity.”
King David said, “And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches every heart and understands every desire and every thought. If you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will reject you forever.” (1 Chronicles 28:9)
Dr. Dobson’s great-grandfather’s tombstone says, “George W. McCluskey. He died as he lived—a Christian.” What an understatement! And what a Legacy he left (just like my Paw Paw)!