Simple Life Continued - OutofThisWorldLeadership.com

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The Survey

Thom and Art Rainer conducted a survey with forty-one questions covering a plethora of life issues. They received 1,077 responses with a margin of error of plus or minus 2.8 percentage points at the 95-percent confidence level. Here were some of the respondent demographics:

Gender: 57 percent female and 43 percent male
The age, racial and ethnic backgrounds, family income, and geographic diversity were pretty much a snapshot of United States demographics.
While eight out of ten of those surveyed said they were Christians, there was a wide range of religious or church involvement and denominational affiliation. Only 35 percent of the respondents were born-again Christians, and even fewer, 11 percent, were evangelical Christians.

The Findings

From the study, Rainer and Rainer learned that people need simple in four areas:

Time: They wanted simple so they could have time for areas of their lives that really mattered.
Relationships: Without a doubt many of the respondents struggled with balance in relationships. The simple life for them meant having better and closer relationships with others.
Money: Financial strains were pervasive with many in this study. They longed for a simple life free of past-due bills, limited income, deficient savings, and increasing debt.
God: These people, above all, saw a big void in their relationship to God. They saw clearly that they were too busy for God. They needed a simpler life in order to get closer to God.

For each area, Rainer and Rainer explore four ways to improvement:

Clarity: Clarity means that you know where you are going. Before you move closer to a simpler life, you need a blueprint of where you are going—a plan that states where you want to go.
Movement: To move in the right direction, we must remove congestion to get where we need to go. This involves moving with intentionality and moving incrementally. You don’t try to conquer the world in a day. To add metaphor upon metaphor, how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. You create short-term steps. You have the clarity of where you want to go, but you don’t try to arrive at your destination all at once.
Alignment: Our lives get out of alignment. It usually begins small. But it doesn’t remain small. You have to look at the bad habits that are interfering with your progress.
Focus: Once you’ve stated clearly where you want to go (clarity), made incremental steps in the right direction (movement), looked at bad habits and problems that are interfering with your progress (alignment), you eliminate some good stuff.

PART 1: TIME

How to Make Your Time Really Count

I Want to Spend More Time Doing Things That Matter (Clarity)

Approximately 44 percent of the survey respondents agreed that if their daily life continued at the current pace, they would probably have health problems. We all know this, but it bears repeating that the stress of a go-go-go lifestyle has been linked to some of the following: heart disease, obesity, depression, memory problems, sleep disorders, anxiety, and high blood pressure.

Consider this: the faster an object goes, the more difficult it is to stop and the greater impact it has when it hits something. As we become more and more inundated with activities, we find it increasingly difficult to break away from the life we now live.

Though we may not realize it, we are training our kids to be busy, to follow in our shortcomings. During the earliest stages of life, we are already molding their minds to sense that free time is wasted time.

The only way to figure out what to do with your time is to get a grasp on your priorities in life. Of course, the current way you spend your time is a present reflection of your priorities. Simplifying time is about adjusting the way you do life. It is about understanding what is most important to you and then allowing your actions to flesh it out.

The Barriers of Time (Movement)

We have filled up our days, weeks, and years with plans and commitments. Our lives now consist of a bunch of to-dos. 44 percent of those in our survey, say that their current pace of life will likely lead to health problems. 84 percent of the married persons surveyed admit they spend too little time with their spouse. Our lives are the culmination of our choices.

As humans, it is often our self-absorption that hinders our moving into a simple life. We are convinced that this life is about us and our appearance to the world. Much of our time is spent trying to create a persona that says, “I have it all together.” And we go to great lengths to make sure that no one finds us lacking in any facet of our life.

Our drive to become the perfect human with the perfect family and the perfect career erects barriers that stop us from enjoying the simple life.

When the Priorities of Time Match Who We Are (Alignment)

This is alignment: when we structure our life’s activities and priorities so that the process of the simple life can be accomplished. It is lining up our schedule so that it runs parallel to our heart’s yearning.

Seven out of ten (69%) indicated they need to change how they use their time each day.

We might expect born-again Christians to align their time for priorities that reflect their beliefs. But, among that group in our study, only 40 percent pray regularly with their children. Only 35 percent of the married respondents pray regularly with their spouses. And only 30 percent read the Bible together at least once a week. Not very good alignment.

God knows our wiring. He knows that we need someone to encourage us in our personal development. Human existence was never meant to be played in solitude. It is intentionally relational. If we are serious about changing the way we do time, then we need others who are there, watching our progress. We need a set of eyes that can recognize and verbalize the good and the bad, the aligned and the unaligned. When choosing that person who will hold you responsible for your actions, be picky. Steer away from family members. It can just get too messy; seek an outsider.

Set specific time intervals in which you will meet or speak: weekly or every other week. And be sure to stay in contact. This is a must. God has put certain people in your life for this specific purpose. Find them. Approach them. Uncover how a single, open relationship can keep you heading where you desire to go.

As we align our activities to move toward the simple life with our time, we should not expect perfection. As with most areas in our life, we will probably find ourselves making mistakes, creating a few scars. Our response to those mistakes can be more important than the mistake itself. Will we allow it to become a source of frustration or inspiration? Will it be a story to share or a problem that continues to torment us?

A Matter of Time (Focus)

Is there ever too much of a good thing? For many of us, we know that the answer is yes. There is a point where our good intentions transform into burdens.

By creating an intentional focus, we are allowing our actions to be even more purposeful, more potent, and more direct.

As we focus our efforts to the mission and the mission alone, we must be willing to allow good things to fall to the wayside. Sometimes the best thing we can do is say no. If we want to harness this energy created by our focus, we must have patience. We need to be willing to let the clock tick a little.

With all His power, all His authority, why would Jesus not reverse every sickness, every death, and every trouble? He was on a divine schedule. From the moment of birth, His countdown began. Christ knew His main purpose was not to heal physical needs because those healings would only provide temporal relief. He was sent to conquer the spiritual realm, a battle where the implications were eternal. So He set aside some healings and allowed some to die. He had greater work to do, work that was grossly misunderstood in His time on Earth. And we are left with an undeniable result. It worked.

PART 2: RELATIONSHIPS

How to Create and Keep Healthy Relationships

I Want to Have Healthier Relationships with Family and Friends (Clarity)

Respondents said that they needed to simplify their lives by having significant and healthy relationships. The simple life will never be simple unless parents and children have a reasonably healthy relationship. Fortunately a majority of the respondents did think they had a pretty good relationship with their children. For the question, “I am a good parent,” 56% agreed strongly and another 41% agreed somewhat. The majority of parents think they are doing a good job, but four of ten parents really want to improve.

Less than one third of parents feel strongly that they give their children enough time. Yet most of these same parents think they are working hard to be good parents. The hectic schedule in which they find themselves leaves them feeling exhausted, confused, and guilty.

What about marriage? Depending on the source and the method of research, you will hear that as many as one in two marriages will end in divorce. More than half of the respondents (58%) strongly agree that their marriage is strong. A large number (84%) of the respondents indicated that they needed to spend more time together. These feelings were almost universal, cutting across lines of age, race, gender, and religious belief.

Unfortunately, only about one-third (36%) of all the married people could strongly agree that their spouses offer words of encouragement for them. The simple life is really about simple things, and it’s those simple things we neglect the most. To paraphrase the apostle Paul, we don’t do those things we know we should do.

Simply stated, relationships become healthier when at least one of the parties has a selfless attitude. Of course, it’s a great relationship when all of the parties are selfless.

Moving to Healthier Relationships (Movement)

In the surveys, Rainer and Rainer heard little about nicer cars, getting children more involved in sports, taking on more work hours, or buying bigger homes with bigger mortgage payments. Instead, they typically heard that these items were congestions. They represented the blockage that prevented movement toward the simple life.

Clarity is the intention. Movement is the action. Healthy relationships depend on less congestion and more movement. And that usually happens best when we focus on the little things.

Activities are replacing purpose. We are so busy doing activities that we are neglecting what really matters. More than three-fourths of the respondents either stated clearly that they were too busy. What activities are hindering you from developing deeper relationships?

One of the most common types of congestion in the development of relationships is selfishness. Consider Paul’s words to describe Love from 1 Corinthians 13:

Patient (v. 4). Maybe some of us need to look at the inverse of this description: love is not impatient. Do you sometimes lose patience with your spouse? A child? A coworker? A friend?
Kind (v. 4). Kindness implies intentionality. When we are kind to someone, we are making an overt effort to do a good deed or to say a positive word about him or her. Kindness typically requires forethought, and that forethought is an effort itself to demonstrate love. (See my recent post on Lawrence Lovasik’s The Hidden Power of Kindness: A Practical Handbook for Souls Who Dare to Transform the World, One Deed at a Time. – http://www.outofthisworldleadership.com/2019/02/15/are-you-celebrating-random-act-of-kindness-day/)
Not envious (v. 4).
Not boastful (v. 4).
Not conceited (v. 4). When one boasts, he talks about himself. When one is conceited, she focuses on herself. But love is focused on others. Love is concerned about others.
Not improper (v. 5).
Not selfish (v. 5). Our relationship is strained because he never asks what I want. Our surveys indicate that selfishness is pervasive in many relationships.
Not provoked (v. 5).
Keeps no record of wrongs (v. 5). Sometimes relationships are hindered because we have an unforgiving spirit, even though we were wronged. That’s tough to remedy. But it’s mandatory and it’s biblical.

If one of your greatest hindrances to movement in relationships is selfishness, then 1 Corinthians 13 is a great place to start. One of the greatest needs we have in all relationships is to focus on others. It is ironic, but that’s the way it works.

According to the survey results, the two greatest hindrances toward movement are activities—the overcommitted life—and selfishness, or putting our desires above others.

The Five Hindrances to Healthy Relationships (Alignment)

In relationships the failure to align often does not mean that one party is right and the other party is wrong. Instead, the failure of alignment could mean that people in a relationship see things from a different perspective. Let’s look at five of those hindrances.

Men and Women Are from Different Planets. When mothers were asked if they were spending enough one-on-one time with their children, 40 percent agreed strongly that they were. When men were asked the same question, only 20 percent strongly agreed that they spend enough time with their children. That number—only half the level of the mothers—is statistically significant and relationally staggering. Men and women are different. They have different perspectives and different needs. Sometimes they are on the same page, but oftentimes they are not.
Faith Misalignment: 45 percent of Christian parents teach their children how to have a relationship with God—less than half of self-described Christians feel that it is important to communicate their beliefs to their children! Among self-described Christians, 38 percent believed strongly that they should have their children in a weekly worship service. Among the non-Christians, not surprisingly, the number was much lower at 9 percent. That’s a 29-point differential. Even with this subsample, the difference is huge. Surprisingly, less than four of ten Christians strongly believe that it is important to have their children in a weekly worship service.
Commitment Inconsistencies. Misalignment occurs in a relationship when one or both of the parties are not truly committed to the relationship. More than half of husbands strongly agreed that they would marry the same wife if they had to do it all over again. Among the wives, the number was higher at 69 percent. When a self-described Christian responded to this statement, 66 percent strongly agreed. But, among the non-Christians the number dropped to 54 percent. Female Christians were the most committed to their marriages (69%). Conversely, male non-Christians were the least committed (50%).
The Time Issue. Of all the married persons in our survey, 43 percent agreed strongly and 41 percent agreed somewhat that they need to spend more time with their husbands or wives. Simple math tells us that 84 percent is a pretty strong indicator. Relationships are misaligned if there is not sufficient time for the relationships to grow. Simple enough.
The Money Issue. Relationships get out of whack when there are disagreements or problems with finances.

Focus, Relationships, and Sacrifice (Focus)

Focus requires that we abandon everything that interferes with our having the best possible relationships. It includes eliminating the not-so-bad stuff and even some good stuff.

The movie Fireproof and its companion book, The Love Dare, were blockbusters beyond almost anyone’s expectations. The movie, released in late 2008, commanded box office receipts for movies of ten times its budget. And then the release of the book, The Love Dare, shocked many as it quickly moved to number one in its category of the New York Times best sellers. Though pundits to this day are still trying to figure out the success formula of the movie and the book, it’s really simple to understand. The message of both was counter-intuitive to cultural norms: In order to have truly meaningful relationships, you must be willing to sacrifice your needs and desires for the good of others.

Perhaps too many things are keeping you from a closer relationship with those you love and friends who mean much to you. Perhaps you are pursuing those things through long hours and tiring work. As a consequence, you have little time for the relationships that really matter.

Survey results revealed that many were chasing the material at the expense of the relational, and they weren’t happy. For example, only 28 percent of the respondents could strongly agree that they were living within their financial means. Nearly four out of five had some level of concern about the debt they carried. And a mere 5 percent felt that they were saving enough money.

Could we eliminate some activities that are focused on our own needs and desires so that we can give attention to others? Is my pursuit of material gain and higher position coming at the sacrifice of relationships?

Interestingly, the survey revealed the higher the income, the more likely the person would be to complain about being too busy. The chase of the material gain actually seems to bring more problems. Only one fourth of the respondents agreed strongly that they spend relaxed time with their children. The simple life demands that you focus. You must eliminate much of your busyness.

Here are five questions for Focus:

If the other party in your relationship could change some things about your life, what would they be?
Can you eliminate some material possession that may be hindering a relationship?
Can you eliminate a job? Your current job may be interfering with your relationships. It could be taking too much of your time. It could be so stressful that you are on edge when you are with others you care about. Or you might just be bored. We all know that lack of happiness and fulfillment in our vocations affects our relationships.
Are casual activities interfering with your relationships?
Would your children like to eliminate some of their activities? If you still have children at home, have you looked at their activities lately? Are they busy? Are they too busy? Try something different. Ask them if they could change their activities, would they change them, and what types of changes would they make. You may discover that they would like to slow down and simplify as well. When they slow down, so will you.

What really matters is our relationship with God. What really matters is our relationship with others. We need to focus to give attention to these things. That’s the simple life, and that’s what really matters.

PART 3: MONEY

How to Simplify and Build Healthy Finances

I Want to Provide Financially for My Family (Clarity)

Finance can seem like such a dirty word. Along with religion and politics, it is one of the three topics we are supposed to avoid in a conversation. However, money was one of the most frequent topics of discussion for Jesus.

More than 45 percent of the survey respondents admitted that they did not have enough income for their lifestyles. For many of us, money is a ball and chain attached around the ankle, limiting our life’s movement. Money can make life a mess. And it doesn’t matter how many zeroes you have on your paycheck, financial trouble can find any of us.

Stewardship is the only concept that provides clarity to our finances. By the nature of the word, stewardship requires some type of higher authority. It is a position of submittal to a greater good. It is the denying of oneself and the exalting of another. It is commitment to the well-being of another, knowing that his happiness will result in your happiness.

Money is not the root of all evil (see 1 Timothy 6:10). When properly used, it is a means that can produce all kinds of good in our world. But to the contrary, so many of our financial decisions reduce the potential impact we could have on this earth. They can diminish our fulfillment as God’s agents of change.

Stewardship is not some mathematical formula or a list of dos and don’ts. Stewardship is about the heart. A steward has two critical components: detachment and wisdom. Though he is intimately involved in the affairs of his master, a caretaker must never begin to think that the possessions he watches are his own.

The survey results indicated that many are in dire need just to get the basics in order. Exactly 50 percent of those we surveyed indicated that they often have more bills to pay in a month than they have money. Here are three categories of finance need to be addressed:

The Now (0 to 10 years): Paying bills, credit cards, short-term loans, or emergency funds.
The Future (10+ years): For many this includes retirement, college funds, and mortgages.
The Far Future (Your Legacy): In Proverbs 13:22, the writer indicates that the finale of one’s relationship with money comes at death, that when we pass away, we can leave an inheritance for the next generation.

Remember, it all comes back to stewardship. It doesn’t matter if we only have a few cents in our pockets or a couple million in our bank account. None of us are deserving of what we have. Everything we have been given is a gift, and we are the stewards.

Making Sense of Money Matters (Movement)

46 percent of those surveyed agreed that their credit card debt was too high. It would be easy to say that a credit card balance is the barrier that needs to be eliminated to achieve a simple financial structure, but rarely is that the cause. The debt is the outcome of a barrier, not the barrier itself.

Often financial problems are not our financial state; that’s only where it has manifested itself. Our struggles are with ourselves and with our identity. No matter how much money we make, we must first uncover our motivations for our financial decisions.

One of the reasons the Bible discusses money is because it is such a telling indicator of what’s going on inside of us. Our monetary decisions are an outflow of our heart. Jesus said it clearly in Matthew 6:21, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” The cliché says that if you want to look at someone’s priorities, just take a look at their checkbook.

Debt is primarily caused by overconsumption. Overconsumption is caused by a desire to have something that is beyond our financial reach. We want something beyond our financial means because we think that somehow it will make us more complete. We are immersed in a culture that teaches consumption as a way of life.

Proverbs 13:22 says, “A good man leaves an inheritance to his grandchildren, but the sinner’s wealth is stored up for the righteous.”

Many of us find ourselves wanting to set aside something for retirement, desiring to leave some type of legacy to the next generation, but the concerns of today are like a thick, grey fog around us. We can’t see beyond the present. We just want to make it through today. If we could just figure out how to make the present work, then we might be able to look toward the future.

Satan knows that if he can get us to construct solid, constrictive blockages to our financial well-being in the present, then we will be potentially affected for the rest of our lives. They are blockages that we sometimes carry with us for many years.

Aligning Your Money and Mission (Alignment)

How is alignment created and maintained in our finances? Here are five practical tips that will aid you as you continue on this journey:

An honest assessment

It is best to focus on our three stages of finance: the now, the future, and the far future. Within each category, ask yourself the following questions:

What was my goal?
What changes did I make to meet my goal?
Am I seeing progress?

If you are not seeing progress, what adjustment needs to take place? Refresh your memory about your goal, evaluate the outcome of your decisions, and, if necessary, determine the types of changes needed to see your heart’s desire become reality.

Consider your role as God’s steward. This honest assessment is an integral part of your stewardship. It is how you can hold yourself accountable to the actions, or lack of actions, that you take.

Accountability

With our money it is easy to get distracted by activities that do not align with the mission statement and do not aid in the realization of our goals. We ask the wrong questions. We ignore the opportunity at hand. Here are some basic recommendations when seeking out someone to hold you accountable for your finances:

They must have similar values.
They must understand or have similar goals.
They must understand money, at least on a basic level.
They must be trusted.
They must be willing to provide honest feedback.
They cannot be a family member.

Matching activities with priorities and personalities

Our uniqueness goes beyond the obvious physical features. The layers of individual distinction make us like a rare jewel that is precious in God’s sight. We were all designed with specifics on how we should operate. And our personalities will either react positively or negatively to how we do our finances. If you find yourself feeling like your actions are not you, you’re probably right. You can handle your money in numerous ways. Seek out those that align with who you were meant to be.

A willingness to adjust & realign

Simplicity requires flexibility. The lack of flexibility can have dramatic consequences.

Acceptance of imperfection

When all is aligned between your mission statement and your activities, everything seems to make sense and hope remains. However, when things just don’t seem to mesh, frustration ensues and hope diminishes. You cannot lose hope. Hope fuels action. Hope gets you to the next step.

Keeping Focus on Your Finances (Focus)

60 percent of the respondents indicated that finances were causing significant stress in their families (and remember the statistic stated earlier that 50 percent of those surveyed typically have more bills than money in a given month). At this point, the concept of focus—or a willingness to eliminate even that which is good but does not contribute to the overall pursuit of your goals—should be familiar. Here are some characteristics of focus for the simple life:

Focus sees the whole picture. All financial decisions are connected; each impacts the others.
Focus is blind to the externals.
Focus distinguishes between the good and the good. You will find yourself in a situation where you must distinguish between a necessary good and an unnecessary good in relation to your mission statement. Our finances can provide us with the opportunity to do many great things. We can feed the hungry, give to the poor, and take care of our family. Make sure one good is not preventing another good from occurring.

Focus on the Now (0 to 10 years)

Our survey showed that the respondents desired a better lifestyle for their children than they had experienced as a child. More than 77 percent of the men and 68 percent of the women said that they wanted to give their children more materially than they had growing up. And 50 percent wanted to currently give their children more than they had already given them.

Focus on the Future (10+ years)

50 percent of our respondents did not have a financial plan for the future. Another 73 percent have concerns about whether they can retire comfortably. And these surveys preceded the stock market crash in late 2008 that demolished most retirement accounts. The need is there.

Focus on the Far Future (Your Legacy)

As you pursue your legacy, do not stretch yourself out too far. God did not fill the Bible with lessons on giving because He has a need. God created the concept of giving so that we may be a part of His plan for our obedience to Him. He wants us to live beyond what is humanly capable, to tap into the spiritual. Giving was fashioned out of His love for us. In 2 Corinthians 8:3–4, the apostle Paul tells of a Macedonian church that seemed to get it: “I testify that, on their own, according to their ability and beyond their ability, they begged us insistently for the privilege of sharing in the ministry to the saints.”

In the same letter to the Corinthians, Paul writes about the connection between the heart and one’s offering: “Each person should do as he has decided in his heart—not out of regret or out of necessity, for God loves a cheerful giver” (2 Cor. 9:7).

Giving is a gift created for you. Immerse yourself in the experience. Pray for God to direct your heart in your offerings, and be a part of something beyond your human capability.

PART 4: GOD

How to Get Closer to God

Looking for God in All the Wrong Places (Clarity)

Eight out of ten respondents said they were Christians. Another 7 percent held to some other religious belief. And another 11 percent believed in God but had no preferred religious system. Only 2 percent were either agnostics (persons who claim neither faith nor disbelief in God) or atheists (persons who deny that God exists).

Nearly seven out of ten (69%, for statistical sticklers) said that they needed to spend more time on spiritual matters. Nearly nine out of ten of those we surveyed felt that it was important for them and their families to have a spiritual foundation. More than eight out of ten said that they agreed it was important for them to live by the values of the Bible.

Rainer and Rainer point out that they do not have to convince many that God is important in life. In fact, most would agree that nothing is more important than God.

69 percent of those we surveyed indicated that they really wanted to move closer to God, but research indicates that desire without specificity typically leads nowhere.

29 percent of respondents attend church weekly, and only 51 percent of born-again Christians did so. And among evangelicals, those Christians with conservative and specific doctrinal beliefs, nearly one-fourth were absent from church on a weekly basis.

When unchurched people decide to visit a church, they often have to summon great courage to walk into a place where they know few, if any, people. And they often report that they feel excluded and on the outside (“not a part of the club,” one person said matter-of-factly).

Nearly nine out of ten (89%) respondents indicated that having a spiritual foundation is important. More than eight of out ten (81%) reported that they needed to provide stronger spiritual leadership for their children.

More than eight out of ten of those surveyed recognized that they needed to live by the values of the Bible. A whopping 82 percent said that the Bible should be their moral compass, their family’s guide, and their blueprint for the simple life. However, the vast majority of Americans, including churchgoing Christians, are really ignorant about the Bible.

They want to be closer to God. And they said they needed to be in church. Then they said they needed to know the Bible, so they could live by the Bible. While these two realities were not a big surprise, the third confession caught us a bit off guard. The simple life that they desired meant that they needed to be more open about their faith.

Moving Closer to God (Movement)

The problem with congestion is that it hinders the best or most natural process or progress. We need to move in one direction but congestion stops us or detours us. We aren’t our best or we can’t do our best when congestion gets in the way. Do you have congestion in your relationship with God?

Nearly seven out of ten (69%) in our study desire more time for church and other spiritual matters. God is not in the picture in many lives. Congestion is in the way.

Movement toward God can be summed in five words:

1. Prayerful: Paul said, “Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God” (Phil. 4:6). Clarity says have a good plan. Movement says act on the plan. And that’s often where the breakdown occurs. That is why we begin with prayer. That is why we begin with God and not ourselves.

2. Forgetful: Paul said, “But one thing I do, forgetting what is behind…” (Philippians 3:13). Forgetting can be positively life changing, especially when we are paralyzed from moving forward because of past failures.

3. Incremental: To develop, begin with a mission statement that is both simple and incremental. You will remove a lot of congestion that way. And one year from now, you may be surprised at the progress you’ve made.

4. Immediate: Remember the story of the adulterous woman? Jesus clearly communicated to her that she was forgiven. But what then did He tell her? “Go, and from now on do not sin any more” (John 8:11). Notice what Jesus did not say. He did not say, “Give this serious thought and after a few weeks change your lifestyle.” No, He told her to sin no more. Right then. At that moment. Without delay. One of the main sources of congestion is “soon.” “I will start back going to church soon.” “I plan to begin reading my Bible every day soon.” “I will start talking about spiritual matters with my family soon.” Of course, “soon” never happens.

5. Resilient: Paul was truly resilient. The simple life means that we start taking some serious steps toward getting closer to God. But, for some of you, the fear of failure is just too great. You’ve tried in the past. And you’ve failed. You tried. You failed. What’s the use of trying yet again?

God in the Background (Alignment)

Where do you begin to align your life’s activities to get closer to God? Try these five major areas toward alignment:

Looking in the Mirror: Honest Self-Assessment (see my initial blog post on Your Most Powerful Leadership Tool)

We have to face the reality of who we really are. It means facing some tough issues. Slightly more than two-thirds of those surveyed either agreed strongly or agreed somewhat that they were good spiritual leaders. Now, if 68 percent of American adults are good spiritual leaders, our national and spiritual problems should be quickly eradicated. But we all know differently. Where is the disconnection? Only 22 percent agree strongly with the contention that they are good spiritual leaders. Nearly half, 46 percent, only agree somewhat. The remaining 32 percent admit that they are not good spiritual leaders. It’s the “agree somewhat” group that got our attention.

Talk to Someone: Accountability

In married households, only 39 percent of both parents attend church worship services at least once a month. In nearly half of the households, neither parent attends. While some accountability approaches are highly structured, most are informal and natural.

Recognizing Who We Are: The Personality Match

Rainer and Rainer like the inventories and tests. They have found that these tests are truly helpful in attempting to learn more about the way God made us. Many struggle in their relationship with God because they are trying to be someone else. God accepts us as we are.

The Willingness to Realign: Flexibility

Alignment will probably lead to realignment. And realignment means that you won’t always get it right, but then you try again. And realignment means that you may get it right for a while, but you have to adjust or change as God changes the circumstances of your life.

Accepting Your Humanity: A Willingness to Be Imperfect

Imperfection comes in two different types of packages. The first type of imperfection is when we disobey God. The second package of imperfection, simply stated is—no matter how hard we try, we will never get everything done perfectly. Some have not entered the simple life because they are perfectionists.

Some perfectionists need to relax in the simple life. Your alignment may need to be removing the heavy burden of perfectionism. Jesus said it best; He always does: “Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. All of you, take up My yoke and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for yourselves. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light” (Matt. 11:28–30). Shed the perfectionism and rest in Jesus.

God in the Foreground (Focus)

Sixty-nine percent of the respondents wish they had more time for church and other spiritual matters.

In seven short verses of Scripture (Acts 6:1-7), we learn five key principles of focus for us today.

They dealt realistically with the messy world in which they lived. They dealt with the reality of the messiness of life straight on. A significant group in the church were complaining and murmuring. The gospel focus of the early church was in danger of being lost. The widows of Greek origin were being neglected in the church’s provision of food. The leaders didn’t say they would forego the matters of utmost importance to deal with the tyranny of the urgent. They didn’t say that they would ignore the matter either. They acknowledged the messiness of life and dealt with it.
They were brutally honest with themselves and others. Look at Acts 6:2 closely: “Then the Twelve summoned the whole company of the disciples and said, ‘It would not be right for us to give up preaching about God to wait on tables.’”
They acknowledged that something good had to go. James 1:27 says, “Pure and undefiled religion before our God and Father is this: to look after the orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unstained by the world.” Taking care of the widows was important. In fact, it was mandated.
They were creative in discovering alternatives.
They kept their focus. “But we will devote ourselves to prayer and to the preaching ministry” (Acts 6:4). Focus. Not easy. But it’s a must for the simple life.

Many of us have clutter that we just don’t eliminate. We insist that everything we are doing, all of the activities we are involved in, and every minute consumed is nonnegotiable. We just can’t eliminate anything. Except time with God.

This is a spiritual issue because it’s a matter of stewardship. Eliminating the nonessentials, even if they are good things, is vital because God says it’s important.

One common theme about eliminating activities is how difficult it is. Elimination is vital to having focus. And focus is indispensable to the simple life and a closer relationship to God.

The simple life may require some tough choices. It probably will require the elimination of some things you are doing now. But it will free you to do those things that are really important. And seven out of ten we surveyed said they need more time with God. That, we believe, is what really matters.

We say yes to more, and something suffers. That something is often Someone. God is moved to the background. He gets left out of our lives. Sounds crazy, doesn’t it? But you know it’s true. Stop adding so much to your life. You’re busy enough. In fact, you told us clearly in our research. Some of you are just too busy for God. And that is being too busy for your own good.

The Simple Life: Moving Closer to God

Clarity. Devise a brief mission statement for a highly intentional plan to have a closer relationship with God.

Movement. Get rid of the congestion and obstacles that hinder the progress of your mission statement. Focus is getting rid of the good stuff, but movement is getting rid of the bad stuff.

Alignment. Honestly look in the mirror.

Focus. Eliminate good things from our lives. It is a sin to be good if God has called us to be great.

James 4:8: “Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, sinners, and purify your hearts, double-minded people.” The simple life is not a double-minded life but a single-minded and focused life walking with God. And that’s the foundation upon which everything else is built. The simple life will simply not work without God.

The Dash

Rainer and Rainer explain, “The entirety of this book has been about the dash, that period between birth and death. The dash has a lot of hope in it because it contains the present. We can make choices right now that will profoundly impact the rest of our lives.”

The simple life is more than mere simplicity. It’s all about focusing on that which really matters, and be willing to discard the rest.

Rainer and Rainer conclude, “Our prayer has been that God uses this book to move His people to be more like Him in all that we are, all that we say, and all that we do. And that is our prayer for you. And I pray this: that your love will keep on growing in knowledge and every kind of discernment, so that you can determine what really matters and can be pure and blameless in the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God (Phil. 1:9–11).”