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Good Dad Promises
- I will not be paralyzed by my past failures. David was paralyzed by his past failures with his son, Amnon, who ultimately killed his half-brother in an act of revenge.
- I will not make my children compete for my affection. Laban did not seem to love his daughters, Leah and Rachel. His relationship with them was transactional—like a business deal—about what he could get from being their father, as he made Jacob work for him before giving them away in marriage.
- I will not turn a blind eye to sibling rivalry. Jacob didn’t deal with his youngest son, Joseph’s spirit of pride that contributed to sibling rivalry. Jacob was uniquely suited to help Joseph with his character flaws, as he had a history of being a deceiver with his brother Esau. He also knew how to restore a good relationship with an angry and jealous brother.
- I will not make it difficult for my children to honor me. The fifth commandment is not just for children. It is implied that fathers are to be worthy of honor. Saul made it difficult for his children to honor him because he: made unwise decisions and treated others harshly; allowed fear of man to influence him; allowed jealousy to consume him; lied to his children and used them in dishonorable ways.
- I will not abandon my children. When Isaac was born, Sarah asked Abraham to “get rid of that slave woman and her son (Ishmael).” Ishmael likely grew up thinking he was the son of the covenant, so he must have wondered what was so wrong with him that his father rejected and abandoned him.
- I won’t miss the mark by failing to lovingly discipline my children. Proverbs 13:24 says that if we love our children, we will be careful to discipline them. Eli—a special man to God because he was the only high priest and judge over Israel for 40 years—raised two sons (Hophni and Phineas) who grew up to become priests but were described as “scoundrels” (1 Samuel 2:12).
- I will tame my child’s talents. Manoah (Samson’s father) knew Samson was set apart for a special purpose. Then, Samson asked his father to get him a wife from the Philistines. Although Manoah knew that request deliberately contradicted God’s plan, he accommodated his son. Judges 14:10 tells us that Manoah participated in Samson’s wedding even though there were clear signs that this wedding was a mistake. Whenever you are tempted to accommodate, choose to transform; and whenever you are tempted to participate, choose to guide.
- I will not pitch my family’s tent near temptation. Genesis 13:12 says that “Lot lived among the cities of the plain and pitched his tents near Sodom,” a place where the men were wicked and great sinners against the Lord. Despite God’s deliverance, Lot compromised to accommodate the temptations that surround him by returning to Sodom. That choice had dire consequences for his family.
Five Things a Dad Must Do to Be a Good Father
As a father, I seek daily to become the good father that God has called me to be. I try to use these tips from Warren’s book:
- Good Fathers Affirm Their Children.
- Good Fathers Are Physically Present. Kids spell love T-I-M-E.
- Good Fathers Are Emotionally Available.
- Good Fathers Are Spiritually Involved. Four key things to do to be a spiritual guide to your children:
(1) Develop a strong relationship with God;
(2) Pray daily for and with your children;
(3) Model the spiritual behavior you want to see – the notion of “do as I say but not as I do” has never worked; and
(4) Set spiritual “markers” to help your children stay on the path.
- Good Fathers Love and Pursue the Prodigal Child.
Good Fathers also reach out to the fatherless. According to the National Mentoring Partnership, 18 million kids want or need mentoring, but only 3 million will be able to get mentors. Check out the National Fatherhood Initiative’s site by clicking here for more information.
As I noted last month, “Are you an Out of This World Leader” for your family (covering Ken Blanchard’s Lead Your Family Like Jesus book), ultimately, we all need to trust Jesus as our parenting leadership role model. When we do, we’ll make Him smile—and help our children fulfill their heaven-sent potential…
For us, that’s Out of This World Leadership, helping our children shoot for the stars!