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In Proverbs 12:26 above, the Hebrew word for “carefully” carries the idea of one who “searches out” or “investigates.” It’s important to do this carefully, since our friends are both a source of support and influence.
As we investigate, we need to consider whom to avoid and what makes a good friend.
Whom to Avoid
Solomon points out that it is wise to avoid certain kinds of people and tells us why we should avoid them:
- Gossips (16:28 & 20:19): They betray your confidence and can easily separate good friends.
- Hot-Tempered & Easily-Angered (15:18 & 22:24-25): They always stir up conflict, and if we’re around hot-heads too much, we’ll “learn their ways.”
- Selfish (18:1 & 23:6-8): Solomon says some people are “begrudging hosts”, always counting the costs of hosting, and their hearts are not with you.
- Proud (13:10): They cause strife.
- Quarrelsome (26:21): Those who are looking for a fight generally find one.
- Lack Empathy (25:20): Solomon put it this way, “Some people sing songs to a heavy heart.”
- Deceitful (26:18-19): Solomon says that when someone deceives then quickly says, “I was only joking”, is “like a maniac shooting flaming arrows of death.”
- Unfaithful (25:19): Unfortunately, you can’t rely on some people when you need them most. They’re like a “lame foot.”
Qualities of a Good Friend
In contrast, Solomon offers a number of qualities that he considers to be important in good friends:
- Trustworthy (11:13)
- Forgives & Forgets (17:9)
- Loves @ All Times (17:17)
- Patient & Overlooks Offenses (19:11)
- Avoids Strife (20:3)
- Purehearted & Speaks with Grace (22:11)
- Pleasant & Provides Heartfelt Advice (27:9)
Proverbs 27:6a points out that “Wounds from a friend can be trusted.” Do you have the kind of friend who can give you feedback, and you know their intent is to help you improve?
Faithful Friendship
Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice. Do not forsake your friend or a friend of your family. Proverbs 27:9-10
According to Boyd Bailey’s Two Minutes in the Bible Through Proverbs, “Faithful friendship rises above petty arguments and selfish actions. True friends determine to push through relational obstacles peacefully through prayer and persistence.”
Christian friendships are based on the character of Christ. Each person attempts to out-serve the other because Jesus prioritized serving others.
Jesus said, “It is more blessed to give than receive” (Acts 20:35). Faithful friends bring joy to one another. Faithful friendships are a reflection of your relationship with the Lord. They are permanent and full of grace and truth.
Consider Job, whose friends betrayed him and blamed him for his circumstances. “After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before” (Job 42:10).
Do you have a close confidant…or a friend who is “closer than a brother”?
