Sacred Pace: Four Steps to Hearing God and Aligning Yourself with His Will Continued

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Looper explains, “Essentially, the four steps help me to wait on God for both His timing and His will in my decisions. Working through the four steps first, before I act on any meaningful decision at home or at work, has become my pathway to receiving clarity and complete peace from the Lord. One thing I’m most excited about: any follower of Christ can learn to reach this sacred pace where the voice of God can be most clearly heard.”

PART I: LOOPER’S JOURNEY TO THAT SACRED PACE

Collision Course

Looper notes that his job became so stressful that it affected his health. He mostly suffered from indigestion—which may not have been as big a deal at fifty—but it was pretty significant for him as a twenty-six-year-old.

His sales roles meant traveling. A lot. Which meant being away from his young family, which had recently expanded with the birth of his daughter Jeannie, for days at a time. Looper was doing breakfasts, lunches, and dinners with clients, leaving him with nothing but fumes for my wife and kids.

He was putting his marriage in jeopardy, but he was too focused on his pursuit of success to admit it.  He was also trying to make his relentless business partner happy—and fuel his own need to be noticed. The pace was wearing him out. Even worse, Looper’s neglect of his wife and daughters was becoming a way of life.

He recognizes now that he missed out on a lot during those years. His family paid the biggest price, enduring broken promises, scrapped plans, and a lot of disappointment while he chased down the next dollar.

Things between Looper and his wife, Doris, had been strained for a long time, to say the least. In his obsession with work, he denied what he was doing and blamed her for their marital problems. Instead of affirming everything she did to keep the home a loving, organized, life-giving place, Looper would pressure her—“Join the Junior League; get out of the house and volunteer”—because he thought that was the image they needed to have. It was so unfair. Doris was focused on what really mattered—being a remarkable parent to their girls, serving as taxi driver and disciplinarian and helper as their daughters needed in his absences—and he wanted her attending swanky luncheons and hobnobbing with Houston’s elite. She admits now that she never felt good enough in those days. Looper reflects, “What woman would, with a husband who treated her as I did?”

He drove himself harder and justified his absences and nonstop activity as righteous sacrifices backed by the best of intentions. “The millions I’ll make will provide every material thing my family could want.”

The only break he ever took was on Sunday mornings, when he would pause long enough to attend Bible class and church with his family. He did that every week. This wasn’t a matter of heartfelt commitment; it was more of the same old thing: more about appearances and trying to gain favor with God (and maybe with his wife too). Deep inside, Looper was telling himself, “See? I’m a good man! And a good Christian. And that’s what I wanted everyone else to think. I figured, ‘The hours are simply the price you pay to be in business.’ The success and the lure of money were just too intoxicating for me to resist.”

The Crash

It was emotional, spiritual, and mental. A shutdown on every level. Looper’s predominant feeling was that his brain had quit—just like that—and he was having a nervous breakdown. His brain had stopped so abruptly, it was as if someone had thrown a rock into his gears. Fear and dread taunted him: what if this was permanent? What if he hadn’t simply run out of gas but had pushed himself to the point that his internal machinery had worn out, with no hope of repair?

Looper truly thought he had lost his mind at age thirty-six. Worst of all, he wasn’t sure he would ever get it back.  He somehow managed to crawl onto his knees and cry, “Lord, I can’t go on like this. I’ve done a miserable job of trying to run my life by myself. You need to take control, because I’ve screwed everything up.”

Having grown up in church, Looper never doubted that God was Creator and Ruler of the universe; he just hadn’t wanted Him to be his God because he had a god already: money. Looper notes that he was much like the rich young ruler in Mark 10 who said, “Jesus, I’ve followed Your commandments my whole life—never murdered anybody, or stolen from anyone, or defrauded anybody” (vv. 19–20), but who was unwilling to become a real disciple because, as author and pastor John Piper described it, his “fist [was] clenched around his wealth.”

In those post-burnout years, Looper’s life underwent a rebuild from the wheels up. While he was “in the shop,” God was retooling him with a different operating system—a different way of thinking and working. He reset his priorities altogether and settled into a new pace that God promised would cause much less wear and tear than his fast-track pursuits had. He found that guarantee in the Bible where Jesus told His listeners:

Probably what surprised Looper most during this tentative time was how much he grew to love Scripture. The Word of God was undeniably recalibrating his heart and mind, breathing life into his soul. For the first time ever, he felt excited to open his Bible each day, and it was speaking to him in profoundly practical ways.

Looper began the lengthy process of shedding his well-worn “cultural Christianity” and living in the reality and security of his new identity. He was a child of God—forgiven, loved, accepted.

He recognized that whenever something exciting is ahead of him, his natural inclination—to this day—is to speed up in order to obtain it as quickly as he can, and then to keep adding to his supply. You could say he’s always been about acceleration and accumulation. God continues to teach him, however, that the compulsion to either speed up or add on to the good things He has given are warning signals. Looper needs to treat them as a dashboard alert: “Time to run a diagnostic, Terry, to see what’s really behind your push.”

A Way to His Will

It seems the Lord is always slower with His answers than we would like. One reason is He wants us to develop more trust and dependence on Him.

Looper made it a habit to sit quietly at the beginning of each day, prayerfully asking the Lord, “What’s next? What is Your plan for me?” He’d then read from his Bible and a devotional before proceeding with the day. Two beautiful things happened as he waited on the Lord. First, God kept drawing him to a verse within Scripture that spoke very practically to his fear:

The other beautiful thing that happened was that he not only downshifted into a slower gear but actually shifted into “neutral.” That’s how he thought of it. For the first time ever, Looper quit insisting on having things his way and moving ahead with his plans. Rather, he became ambitious for God’s will, and His alone, whatever that might mean for his future. He now wanted God’s will over his own preferences and was ready to do whatever He decided.

As Looper prayerfully weighed everything that had happened since his burnout alongside the things God had been teaching him, the arrows all seemed to point in one direction: toward starting his own company.

Here’s how Looper explained it:  “Once I got neutral, I tried to stay ‘parked’ and listen until I had full peace about an answer. Confusion or uncertainty meant wait longer. No peace meant the answer was no. Only when I was given a yes with peace would I inch ahead. I had vowed that I would give Jesus full say in whatever I did going forward. He would be not just my Lord and Savior in life, but my Business Partner in any future ventures. In my simple thinking that meant, If I let Him map my route and set my speed, I can just follow His directions.”

Why Go to Work?

While God commands us to work hard while we work, He also instituted regular, rhythmic periods of rest.

Planning is done either according to priorities or according to income.  If one plans according to income, he will allow the marketplace to dictate the level of his commitment to Jesus Christ. Family priorities, time with the Lord, and ministry commitments will give way to the pressing need of meeting financial goals.

Early in 1989, the Lord took Looper’s neutral mindset one critical step further, but in a very non-Terry direction. “What if I worked only forty hours per week and had no sales goals?”  To his spiritual heart, it made perfect sense. To his entrepreneur’s mind, though, it was just plain ludicrous.

Forty hours a week would enable him to work and still be present with his family and friends, do ministry, invest in his relationship with the Lord, and enjoy some downtime—all the while limiting his destructive tendencies. Setting aside time for rest and relationships was completely biblical and would keep his focus in the right place.

First Test Run

Looper is clear that he’s not saying that everyone should work forty hours a week, though he does recommend asking the Lord where your boundary lines should fall. But at that point in time, he believes God wanted him to have faith first and foremost in Him, to counter his tendencies.

God has a sacred pace all His own for the decisions of our lives, and every one of us needs His Holy Spirit to be able to discern it. In that sacred pace—in God’s sovereign timing—His Spirit leads us to a sacred place: the center of God’s will. Our part is to wait on the Lord with our eyes, ears, and hearts wide open.

Upon realizing the difference this approach made in his business and the ripple effect it had in his relationships, Looper sought to reach a slower speed and get neutral in other areas of life as well. And now, no part of his life is exempt from its influence.

Classic Christian George Müller was well known for prayerfully relying on God’s day-to-day guidance as he and his wife fed, clothed, housed, and educated thousands of orphans in nineteenth-century England. He prayed about everything, took steps of faith when prompted by the Holy Spirit, and believed the Lord would answer in due time in all things.

In Step with God

Here are the four steps to a Sacred Pace:

1. Consult your Friend Jesus.
2. Gather the facts.
3. Watch for circumstances.
4. Get neutral.

While Looper notes that he’s numbered the steps and will use this order for ease of reference, getting on God’s pace is rarely a linear progression. In fact, the first three steps are often more like three streams running together until they converge into the “river” of Step 4.

Whenever God delivers His answer, signaled by a sure peace deep inside, you do it. This is when you start to move forward again.

Easy does it. Think of this entire process as easing off the rush of your desires until you are objective. The entire process of seeking God’s pace was immersed in prayer (Step 1) from beginning to end.

Looper notes, “In time, though, as I developed a friendship with Jesus (Step 1), more of a give-and-take occurred. As I brought Him into this decision, it felt as if He brought me into the work that was underway in my life. At this slower spiritual pace, I had time to gather and weigh the facts of my situation (Step 2). Becoming more aware of unfolding circumstances (Step 3)—the events and decisions that were outside of my control—gave me a better eye for God’s hand in them, knowing they either derive from Him or are allowed by Him. God used these first three steps to help open my heart to that vital question: ‘What do You want me to do, Jesus?’ I found that my will was graciously neutralized, and I actually wanted what He wanted more than any solution of mine (Step 4).”

As Pastor Tim Keller put it, “It is God making [us] wise. If God seems to be leading my heart to a no when lots of other indicators are saying yes, then I figure He’ll show me that the other indicators are wrong.”

God’s Word shows us what to do, gives us the power to do it, and increases our faith as we do it. Through daily Bible reading and time spent in prayer and other spiritual disciplines (such as devotional reading and meditating on and memorizing Scripture), our day-to-day spiritual life is nurtured—and before we know it, a robust faith has surfaced. To stay on God’s pace means staying connected to the Vine, who is Christ.

When we don’t regularly take time with Him, we weaken and lose our way, losing sight of what He intends for us and what He thinks of us. We start focusing on the world and listening to its messages instead.

Slowing down is key. When faced with a decision, instead of going faster, as we’re inclined to do, the goal is to learn to adopt a slower pace until you have completed the fourth and final step, that unique and critical step of getting neutral, where you desire God’s will over your own. From this openhearted, openhanded position, God’s answer can be most clearly heard and most boldly obeyed.

Don’t trust yourself—the devil loves for you to play God.  Recognize that you are playing God when you choose not to seek His help or admit your limitations. Being aware of our need for God is our greatest strength. When we lean on Him, we can do anything that He has planned and purposed for us to do. Exchanging our weakness for the Lord’s strength enables us to avoid making the mistake that the psalmist decried: “Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain” (Psalm 127:1). Think of it: A life in vain. A business in vain. Relationships in vain. This is what our little kingdoms come to if we strive to accomplish anything minus our true Strength.

Trust and Believe

Looper wants everyone to be able to discern and do the will of God, experiencing the blessings of obeying Him. Having the faith to downshift and follow a process until you’re neutral can lead to a practical, simple walk with Jesus and a joyous life centered in God’s will.

Proverbs 3:5–6 provides the entire four-step process in a nutshell: “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths”

The Message version of the Bible says it even more simply: “Trust GOD from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for GOD’S voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track.”

Bill Blocker, president of the College of Biblical Studies in Houston, says that “heart” here “refers to both an intellectual and volitional trust that is not swayed by emotions or impulsive reactions to circum-stances.”

Malachi 3:10 was testing ground for Looper. It was tangible, and its guarantee is straight from the Lord. God told His people: “Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this . . . and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.”

After he became a Christian, Looper heard Dr. Stanley Tam speak at a prayer breakfast for businesspeople in Houston. The founder of the U.S. Plastic Corporation, he had written a book titled God Owns My Business, and he shared that he gave 50 percent of his income to charities and ministries.

Looper explains, “Progressively, over thirteen years, Doris and I increased our giving from an initial 10 percent of my annual income to 20 percent, then 30 percent. Finally, by mid-1998, we were giving away 50 percent of my gross income.”

What the Bible says is true: When we ask our Father in heaven for bread, He won’t hand us a stone. When we ask with the right motives, He gives; when we seek Him, He makes sure we find (Matthew 7:7–11).

If Looper’s burnout taught him anything, it’s that eating the fruit of your own wisdom is always a bitter experience.  It took about three years before Looper was in a place—emotionally and spiritually—where he could be open to God’s solution for how to start a company and still honor his family. But his burnout made him more willing to rely on a wisdom outside of himself. Pastor John Ortberg wrote, “A coachable spirit is core to wisdom.”

With the four steps, you can:

• Strip away the layers to discern what’s really going on,
• Confess and work through anything that is hindering from whatever God wants of you, and
• Filter down to the heart of the matter—what’s most important—and act on that rather than his fears or selfish whims.

Sacred Pace at a Glance

Three Core Truths

(1) God knows best, and I only think I do.

Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. —Psalm 37:4

(2) He sees the future, and I can’t.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. —Proverbs 3:5–6

(3) He loves me and everyone around me more than I ever could. 

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. —Romans 12:2

PART 2: FOUR STEPS TO A SACRED PACE

Step 1: Consult Your Friend Jesus

Jesus walked among us on this earth; wore a physical body with its temptations and hungers, needs, and wants; and faced exactly the kinds of struggles that we do—yet without any failing. This makes Him a wonderful role model and example. Finally, Looper explains that what really elevated his faith to the next level as a new Christian was making a new friend—and not just any friend, but the One who would become his Friend and Business Partner, Jesus.

After he tried for so long to fill the hole inside with money, success, and people pleasing, God gave Looper the faith (through much pain) to start looking to Jesus, and nothing has been the same.

To engage with Jesus as a real person rather than a vague concept took away so much pressure. It wasn’t about him being good enough anymore. He no longer flippantly viewed Jesus as his spiritual Santa Claus either.

Pastor Charles Stanley has written: “The essence of the Christian life does not consist of a set of rules and regulations. It is sharing a moment-by-moment, intimate relationship with the Savior. It is not a matter of human acceptance. God accepts us—that is all we need.”

Jesus’ command to abide in Him (John 15:4) is actually an invitation to live in His presence.  As He said in John 15:15, “I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from My Father I have made known to you.”

Think of what friends do: They’re quick to listen. They give you a hand when you need it. They support you and celebrate you and encourage you.

“I spent years and years giving my family my leftovers,” said one of Looper’s mentees. “I’m a professional at giving that to the Lord too. If I’m really seeking His will, I need relationship. If I can give three hours to a football game or a business meeting, why can’t I afford an afternoon with my Creator? The truth is, I can’t afford not to!”

We seldom know best. It’s just a fact. But Jesus always does. And He always cares—even more than we do. He is not some genie in a bottle, operating at our whim; He is a dear Friend who loves us like no one else does and our trusted Partner who knows the best course of action. Finally, keep praying until you have an answer. This is not just a one-time request every time you face a decision; it’s not a one-and-done.

As Oswald Chambers challenged: “Think of the last thing you prayed about—were you devoted to your desire or to God? Determined to get some gift of the Spirit or to get at God? The point of asking is to get to know God better… Keep praying in order to get a perfect understanding of God Himself.”

Expect Him. Look for Him. Anticipate Him, just as you do anyone you long to see.

Ask Jesus to direct your thoughts to this moment and to be in it with you. Treat Him as you would a best friend. Try calling on Him throughout your day.

Get to know Jesus via the four Gospels of the Bible—Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.

Evaluate at the end of each day: “When did I feel Him most present? When did He seem most distant?”

Invite Jesus into your worship, your times of waiting, and your work. Revisit scenes of Christ’s affection for you. Develop a grateful mindset.

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin summed it this way: “Joy is the surest sign of the presence of God.”

Step 2: Gather the Facts

Blind spots are a problem at step 2, as are our biases. To gather the facts is to do your due diligence for spiritual purposes. Facts in this context are “any data, reality, or truth that could rightly affect a conclusion.”

One of Looper’s close friends admits: “As an impulsive person, I tend to want to short-circuit the entire process by just going to the Lord in prayer. When I do this, I take all my biases, emotions, and denial with me—and I don’t get a clear answer because of the walls I have. I equate it to getting bad cell service: I can tell my connection’s not working. And the reason is because I am leaving out this step. I’m not willing to sift through the garbage and find the truth.”

The facts include:

• The unchanging truth of Scripture.
• The truth of who you are (temperament and talents; values and principles; healthy passions and convictions).
• The godly counsel of others.

Scripture clearly affirms the wisdom of having advisors (for example, the book of Proverbs contains many verses on this topic). We just have to be selective about who we look to for advice.

We should seek out mature, Spirit-filled Christians who revere God’s Word and whose lives exhibit faithful obedience to His wisdom. For any decision, you need fellow believers with whom you can talk through all the facts, including any motives and desires that you’re aware of, and who will listen with spiritual ears.

Until we have the Lord’s answer, we are on a journey of discovery. Therefore, seek to be as thorough in your fact gathering as the situation warrants, while keeping in mind that you will never have all the facts.

Author Chris Tiegreen recommends listing your motivations. “Have you noticed that those who make bad decisions are usually acting out of extreme self-interest? A focus on self leads to devastating shortsightedness and has evil, destructive consequences. A focus on God—His character, His ways, His eternal nature—leads people to wisdom.”

Step 3: Watch for Cirucumstances

Circumstances are “the decisions, actions, or events—typically outside of one’s control—that may prove providential in a decision.” Whereas facts are more finite and objective, circumstances require that we pay attention to the unfolding story. You have to let them roll out, with God orchestrating their rhythm, just as a conductor speeds up the tempo or slows it down for emphasis in a song. God may alter or change our circumstances at any time.

Moving at God’s pace means we don’t have to overanalyze the facts or the circumstances that come our way. God directs our paths in part by arranging circumstances to reveal and confirm what He wants us to do—and when.

These truths provide encouragement and confidence to seek the Lord’s will over our own:

1. He knows best, and I only think I do.
2. He sees the future, and I can’t.
3. He loves me and the people around me more than I ever could.

George Müller thoroughly believed that we should not only take circumstances into account but consider them providential: “These often plainly indicate God’s Will in connection with His Word and Spirit.”

Pain and disappointment, surprises and so-called coincidences (which never really are coincidences)—these can all help us more clearly see the circumstances that matter. God either uses the facts and circumstances to save us from ourselves, or to send us another step farther in His intended direction. Either way, we win.

Step 4: Get Neutral

Assuming God’s pace—and staying on it through this all-important getting neutral point—is essential for discerning God’s will. So whether you’re a type A, B, or otherwise, every person needs to learn to push his or her particular pause button in order to watch and pray.

Oswald Chambers said, “[God] works where He sends us to wait.”

Once enough information is in for a decision—once you’ve prayed through it, consulting your Friend Jesus; gathered the necessary facts; and paid attention to any relevant circumstances—wait until you’ve gotten neutral. Wait until you clearly know in your heart that you want His will more than your own. That’s when God’s answer is most likely to come.

This entire process, and particularly the effort to get neutral, means allowing time for the Spirit of God to show you the motives of your heart—the good ones and the bad ones—and how they are influencing you. If we don’t take this time, if we rush and fail to complete all four steps, our impatience will block us from being able to distinguish God’s desires from our fleshly ones. But His best is what we’re going for.

More than any of the other steps leading to a sacred pace, getting neutral feels like going nowhere, though it’s actually the only way to reach the destinations God has mapped out for you.

The dictionary says neutral means: Temporarily disconnected from the means of forward motion.

The Reverend Crawford Loritts has said: “I guarantee if you spend your time in the Word of God, and there’s an attitude of yieldedness and surrender to those truths, there’ll be power in your life that you never…thought was available.”

Other Ways to Understand Getting Neutral:

1. Removing yourself and your emotions from a situation
2. Getting out of your own way
3. Wanting God’s answer more than your own
4. Walking by faith, not by sight
5. Detaching from whatever is influencing you
6. Giving up your rights

One mentoree of Looper’s knows he’s at that important stage as soon as his attitude becomes, “Option A, B, C, D—all are okay with me.”

Oswald Chambers clearly understood getting neutral when he said, “We have to sit loosely to all those things [that we possess].” Sitting loosely can look to the world like you’re wavering and indecisive, when in reality, you’re consciously awaiting the Lord’s decision.

George Müller wrote that 90 percent of our problem is surrendering our will (in other words, getting neutral). He also said that “nine-tenths of [our] difficulties are overcome when our hearts are ready to do . . . [the Lord’s] will.”

Archbishop Fenelon challenged us to “never make important decisions in a state of distress. You just are not able to see clearly. When you are calm and collected, you will find the will of God more clearly known… Listen to God and be deaf to yourself… Be open to every alternative that God might suggest.”

Psalm 37:4 absolutely exploded Looper’s misconceptions about God: “Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart”  He explained, “What I first interpreted in a self-serving way actually has two very God-centered truths behind it:

1. I delight in Him best when I want His will most. The first tenet of the Westminster Shorter Catechism is that we were created to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. I believe we delight in the Lord when we genuinely want His will more than our will.        
2. God helps me desire His will if I wait on Him. Archbishop Fenelon had as his goal, ‘Fear nothing but to fail God.’”

Reverend Henry Blackaby, in his multimillion-selling book Experiencing God, summed up our goal this way: “‘What is God’s will for my life?’ is not the best question to ask. The better inquiry is, ‘What is God’s will?’ . . . Once I know God’s will . . . I can adjust my life to Him.”

The fact that Müller continued to pray and petition the Lord after arriving at a peaceful resolution is something Looper tries to do as well. As he explains, “I find that the Holy Spirit often confirms the answer somehow (perhaps through circumstances, further prayer, or a word from Scripture or others), probably because, in our humanness, we typically need the reassurance that we’re not making things up. Whereas Müller would proceed if he had peace in his mind, I do not proceed until I have peace in my gut.”

The Bible frequently uses terms such as body, soul, spirit, heart, and mind interchangeably, and the Spirit of God is capable of speaking (out loud or internally) to any part of us.

Learning to hear the Lord takes practice. But the more you listen—and get to know Who you’re listening for—the more quickly you start to recognize when a prompting is from Him.

There’s an old saying: “When you can’t see His hand, trust His heart.” We all have a certain amount of courage and willingness to go forward in the face of fear, especially if we have a deep-rooted peace about the decision—and confidence in the One who has patiently, lovingly brought us to it.

PART 3: LESSONS LEARNED ALONG THE WAY

Is It the Holy Spirit or Intuition? 

Trusting your gut is trusting the collection of your experiences as you’ve walked with the Lord. It holds all the things you’ve learned, all the insights you’ve gained as you’ve studied the Bible, prayed, read thoughtful books, listened to sermons, interacted with fellow believers, and practiced the presence of God. Your gut is also where all the factors in a particular decision are stored—everything from the nature of the prayers you’ve prayed to the facts you’ve gathered, the counsel you’ve been given, and the circumstances you’ve undergone.

A Christian is foolish to not follow the voice of the Spirit, because the Spirit’s answers originate from above. Does this mean we will always listen for that “still, small voice” that Scripture speaks of? No. God’s people can, and sometimes do, ignore the Holy Spirit. But if we do, we are discounting the One who aligns us with the desires of God and who helps us discern the voice of God.

According to Pastor Tim Keller, our minds are “simply clearer spiritually” in the solitude of the morning, especially after we’ve spent time in Bible reading and prayer.

As one classic writer said it: “Be quiet, and He will soon be heard.”

When to Slow Down

Here are the four criteria that Looper uses when he needs to slow down and intentionally seek out God’s sacred pace:

1. I only strive to get neutral on things that really matter to me.
2. I need to consult Jesus and get neutral on anything I don’t have peace about. Striving for a sacred pace and working to get neutral means arriving at that quiet, quiet place where you can hear the Lord and respond with confidence because you know it’s from Him, even though you may have fears.\
3. It’s important for me to get neutral whenever I’m overly or instantly enticed by something.
4. I need to come before the Lord and get neutral anytime a decision starts to become complicated. Jesus’ answers were simple: Love God and love others. His approach to people was simple: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. And I’ve learned that simple works today as well. If it’s simple, it’s usually best.

• By “simple,” I don’t necessarily mean “painless.” To the contrary, I’ve found pain to be the best teacher precisely because it simplifies things, filtering out all the unimportant stuff.
• Simple doesn’t always signify easy.
• Simple doesn’t mean taking shortcuts or the path of least resistance.
• Simple isn’t simplistic. Sometimes simple has complex consequences and entails significant risks.
• Simple is a huge indicator for me of the Lord’s leading, because in my experience, God likes simple.

How Can I Help Myself Stop the Hurrying?

Do differently than the crowd. In general, if you want to do the Lord’s will, you’ll have to go against cultural trends. To complete the four steps of the process and ultimately get neutral sometimes means giving up your “I want what I want” ways.

Work hard not to impress, which is not to advocate laziness. As Christians, we are called to excellence in everything we do.

If the goal is to become whole—to rise above our worst instincts and enjoy the blessings of wiser decisions and healthier relationships—then we usually have to do the opposite of our inclinations. We tend to make choices out of our emptiness. Therefore, when we’re offered some impressive opportunity, our first reaction is all too often our “flesh reaction” (arising from our sinful nature) because our unwholeness has flared up. Slowing down and delaying your answer diminishes the intensity of your flesh and pride and reduces the likelihood of acting impulsively.

Wait at least a week before doing anything with a “great” new idea that comes to mind. Looper describes what he does, “I write down my brainstorm—and then ignore it completely. For seven days I don’t look at that piece of paper, don’t think about it, don’t show it to anyone else. A week later I review it to see if it’s still ‘great.’ Most of the time it is not. That’s a big lesson in ‘lean not on your own understanding.’”

Wait at least a year after:

• Any life-changing event before making any related decisions.
• Any material increase in your income before making any further moves or large purchases.

Waiting until tomorrow, waiting a week, waiting until the emotions have died down—these are all protections He has provided so that we can distinguish between the desires of our heart and the desires of our head, enjoying the life He intends for His children.

Pain is Not the Enemy

Human nature is to run with the answer we can explain, to go with the loud voice of consensus versus the lone whisper within, and to speed ahead with the solution that makes sense to our minds, our training, our background and experience (in other words, our “understanding”). “Don’t listen to your self-nature,” wrote Archbishop Fenelon. “Self-love whispers in one ear and God whispers in the other. The first is restless, bold, eager, and reckless. The other is simple, peaceful, and speaks but a few words in a mild, gentle voice.”

You have to make a conscious decision: will you feed your greed or the desires of God? God sometimes lets us have our momentary desires, even though they will produce pain, because we will be better off by being miserable for a time and growing through the experience. Either way, consider this little-known Francois Fenelon quote: “Slowly you will learn all the troubles in your life…are really cures to the poison of your old nature. Learn to bear these sufferings in patience and in meekness.” Fenelon also remarked, “I agonize and cry when the cross is working within me, but when it is over, I look back in admiration for what God has accomplished.”

Going through the pain also reveals what your personal red flags are—the things you thought you’d healed from, the things that send you back to your Bible, your pad of paper, back to your knees to refocus on the Lord’s will rather than your own.

Are They God’s Desires or Mine?

If we’re truly delighting in the Lord—finding joy in what pleases Him and pursuing His priorities—then what we ultimately desire in our heart of hearts, what we want most in this life, will be the same as whatever He blesses us with. James 4:3 tells us that when we ask things of God and do not receive them, it is “because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.” The four steps are one way He enlightens us about our greatest desires—which are His desires for us—and ensures that we receive them.

A sacred pace, and especially working to get neutral, is about tuning out the noise of your mind and the world so your heart can be heard. You see, there are ears and eyes of the head, and there are ears and eyes of the heart. The entire process of getting in step with God helps you train yourself to see and hear with your heart above all.  Get beyond yourself and discover God’s best answers for your life.

Looper’s ministry consultant Lynn describes the Christian life as “an external expression of an internal experience.”

In his book Soul Keeping, John Ortberg talks about the difference between being busy and hurried. He says busy is when we physically have a lot to do. “Being hurried is…a condition of the soul. It means to be so preoccupied with myself and my life that I am unable to be fully present with God, with myself, and with other people… Busy-ness migrates to hurry when we let it squeeze God out of our lives.”

Take inventory each year of how you’ve grown in the fruit of the Spirit since the previous year. If we get complacent, we quit growing. And complacency gets us in trouble.

PART 4: REACHING A SACRED PACE IN REAL LIFE

With Your Spouse

Looper explains, “Because I like things, and I’m constantly dreaming about bigger and better, we have established one overall rule about spending: we must agree to any major purchase. I do the research; Doris helps me decide. And I mean that. We don’t go forward on a purchase or decision without her okay. Doris and I laughingly describe our relationship as ‘kite and string’: she allows me to fly but reels me in when I get too far out with one of my crazy ventures.”

When Parenting

As Looper’s daughter Tanya says, “The Lord’s answers haven’t always been easy, but we’ve still been able to walk them out. Things have come to light in the process of obeying God’s answers that wouldn’t have otherwise.”

One of his daughters had multiple fender benders in high school. Whenever this daughter would call home about another accident or come home with a dented car, Doris would naturally get upset and want to react. But Looper would say, “Okay, if the neighbor’s daughter had a wreck just like that, how would you rank its seriousness from 1 to 10?” Then he’d ask, “What would you recommend that mother do?” This allowed her to more quickly get neutral and make sure the punishment fit the crime.

Their daughter Jeannie reflects now: “My parents always exemplified the idea of ‘Hold on loosely.’ We grew up tithing. We grew up in a generous home and were taught that no matter how small your checking account, live out of a generous heart and mind. My personality is to make the best of whatever I’m given. So, the best thing Trey and I could think of was to honor the Lord and tithe from our wedding budget. We just knew it was the right thing to do.” Looper explains that he and his wife were so proud that the two of them chose to get in step with God as a couple over one of the first major decisions of their lives together. If they were able to do this on such an important occasion, Looper knew they’d take other issues to the Lord once they were married.

Looper’s therapist has advised, “Don’t give advice or correct blind spots in your adult children unless they ask.” No grown man or woman likes unsolicited suggestions, whether he or she is related to us or not.

To parent in partnership with the Lord doesn’t mean you just casually let your kids have their way. It does mean you submit your plans (and theirs) to God and let Him show you a way through as a family.

While at Work

Spend enough time with anyone—coworkers, family, friends—and you’ll inevitably have conflict. That’s just the nature of relationships.  At Texon, Looper notes they’ve learned the hard way that to delay confrontation lets a negative situation continue. Yet it’s all about timing, because to speak or react out of frustration with someone in the workplace is speaking out of the wrong place—and it’s never received well.

If your work (even if you’re self-employed) leaves nothing for family, friends, church, or anything else, then you need to take it to the Lord. Each one of us, regardless of our employer or position, has to stand against any situation where we’re not allowed any quality of life.

The point is to take steps to preserve margin (see my post on Richard Swenson’s Margin) for ourselves on all fronts—emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically—so that we can thrive.

Here are several ideas that can help you achieve a better balance and the more abundant life Jesus spoke of:       

1. Learn to say no. No is a discipline and a protection.
2. Follow the peace.
3. Instill accountability into your life so you stay on track.
4. Cultivate empowering habits to keep you strong and growing. Exercise, careful eating, daily devotional and Scripture reading, prayer, books that feed my soul—these are all parts of my regular “strength-training” routine.
5. Eliminate any double standards. Texon’s motto is “Do the right thing.” This includes challenging Looper on an issue if he needs to be challenged.
6. Take your allotted vacation time from work.
7. If you’re married, go away alone with your spouse at least once a year.
8. Get away by yourself for two days every six months for some real solitude and a self-review.  Here’s an equation from Mark Batterson that helps it all make sense: Change of pace + Change of place = Change of perspective.
9. Live as if your time (and every other resource) is finite—because it is.  The founder and CEO of Hobby Lobby, David Green, whom Forbes magazine labeled “the Biblical Billionaire” goes home at five o’clock every day—and has for decades. Though he does work on Saturdays until three, he does not own a smartphone or a tablet.
10. Develop a mission statement for your life. It took Looper five years to finalize his mission of “Liberating souls to help people grow to emotional and spiritual maturity through discipleship, mentoring, and support of such ministries”
11. Value your values.

A Note to Leaders

As a leader, if you’re drawing on the Lord to make good choices with how you manage your time, your heart, and your mind, He will help you manage your team.

For Looper personally, restricting his workweek forced him to rely more on the Lord and be more discerning with his time.

During Negotiations

It’s so important to practice slowing down and getting neutral if at all possible. Especially when selling and acquiring businesses.  Here are Looper’s ground rules for business negotiations:

• Always understand the downside risk.
• Don’t chase targets, and beware of metrics.
• Hold off on an offer until you know what the other person wants. (Also do this in hiring key employees.)
• Redefine your sales role.  It’s not your role to actually convince someone; your role as a salesperson is to listen, to help, to support, and to serve customers. When you start selling, you quit listening.
• Focus on needs versus price.
• Deal one-on-one when possible.
• Leave something on the table.
• When you have to say no, never defend your answer with numbers. Looper’s process is to reveal his heartfelt conviction rather than any financial facts behind his decision. Facts and numbers can be argued with; feelings are much harder for people to discount.

In Ministry and Giving

The Bible says that if you want wealth too much, it will ruin you (1 Timothy 6:10). Looper has found that functioning according to God’s pace has allowed him to make better business deals. And giving to ministries voluntarily, with joy and not out of obligation, has shown him how to make a greater impact with those dollars.

Proverbs 11:25 says, “A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.” In Deuteronomy 15:10, the Lord commanded His people to give generously to the needy among them, “and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the LORD your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to.”

To predetermine too many things, even things that seem “Christian,” can be stifling to my relationship with Jesus. The key is to hold all plans loosely in case the Lord wants to alter them.

Oswald Chambers wrote that there’s a vast difference between devotion to a person (Jesus) and devotion to principles or to a cause. If we’re not careful, our personal principles can take on a life of their own—to where we start to uphold them as if they’re biblical commands.

We should stay true to Jesus’ commands, such as “Love your enemy” and “Give generously.” However, He did not say, “Give generously only to discipleship ministries.”

The Bottom Line

Looper’s process of finding the Lord’s will about important decisions has been described using phrases such as “slowing down to a sacred pace,” “getting neutral,” and “waiting on the Lord.” In this quest to trust God instead of himself, Looper is constantly seeking to surrender his will to God’s. In theological terms, it is called “dying to self”—and it is the real bottom line.

Archbishop Fenelon said it well, “Whatever spiritual knowledge or feelings we may have, they are all a delusion if they do not lead us to the real and constant practice of dying to self.”

Oswald Chambers described our dilemma well: “We want the witness [God’s revelation] before we have done what God tells us to do. ‘Why does God not reveal Himself to me?’” Chambers replies, “He cannot, because you are in the way as long as you won’t abandon absolutely to Him.”

Dying to self doesn’t mean you have no preference about the answer you receive; it does mean you get to where, in spite of your preference, your strongest desire is to discover and do God’s will.

John Piper sums up the risks and rewards of the Christian life: “Disobedience is always a greater risk than obedience.” Looper adds, “Demanding our way is always a greater risk than letting God have His way.”

When you look to the Lord and trust His timing, you receive not just His decisions and His desires, but your heart’s desires. Most of all, you get more of Him—and He never, ever disappoints.