Category: Leading People

Empathy: Why It Matters, and How to Get It

Learning to stand in somebody else's shoes, to see through their eyes, that's how peace begins. And it's up to you to make that happen. Empathy is a quality of character that can change the world. - Barack Obama

I’ve never been one who demonstrates empathy very well.  I care for people…it’s just that I’m sometimes clueless about what’s going on with them.  A couple of years ago, we were making some significant changes to our HR organization.  In fact, we were changing a 15-year service delivery model that had served us very well…it was just no longer sustainable with resource constraints we were facing.  I knew team members would struggle with it.

So, I picked up a copy of Travis Bradberry’s Emotional Intelligence 2.0, which included a self-assessment.  Not surprisingly, one of my lowest scores was “social awareness”—your ability to accurately pick up on emotions in other people and get what is really going on. The assessment pointed out that I miss non-verbal cues and can fail to spot the mood in the room.  How true!  I remember my former boss and mentor, Natalie often asking after a meeting, “Did you see what was going on between those two leaders?”  I’d respond, “Natalie, the bubble above my head is generally blank, unless people are talking.”  Then, I listen to what is being said…but I’ve had to work on listen to what is not being said and catching the mood in the room.

Fortunately, Roman Krznaric’s book Empathy: Why It Matters, and How to Get It gives some practical suggestions to leaders like me.

Click here to learn more

Go Beyond the Golden Rule

On Friday, we celebrated Employee Appreciation Day—a way to recognize and appreciate employees with the intent of retaining staff.  For the last couple of years, we have provided breakfast tacos and shared a word of gratitude for our team.  It’s a great way to get the team together and say, “Thank you.”

For some, this is expressing their language of appreciation (see my post summarizing Gary Chapman’s The Five Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace).

However, this approach doesn’t work for everyone, and that’s the focus of today’s post.  I’ve often encouraged leaders to “Go Beyond the Golden Rule” when leading teams.  The Golden Rule says, “Treat other people the way you want to be treated.”  But if you lead a diverse team, not everyone will want your kind of treatment!

That’s where Tony Allesandra and Michael O’Connor’s The Platinum Rule comes in.  It says, “Do unto others as they’d like done unto them.”  In other words, treat others the way they want to be treated.  That means, you have to get to know your team members and their preferences!

Click here to learn more about The Platinum Rule