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(1) Stress: Reacting or Managing?
In 1 Samuel 18:6-11, we see that after David killed Goliath, the townspeople rejoiced. People were singing, and the common refrain was “Saul has slain his thousands, and David his tens of thousands.” Filled with jealousy, King Saul’s blood pressure skyrocketed and his heart rate increased. Overcome with rage and “filled with an evil spirit”, Saul hurled a spear at David, who barely escaped.
Unfortunately, one of Saul’s shortcomings as a leader was his inability to deal constructively with his perceptions of danger. Instead of focusing on how to serve his kingdom, he was concerned about how people perceived him…and he began to compare himself to David.
That weakness ultimately undermined his mental health and cost him the throne.
Effective leaders learn how to manage stress—both their own and that of the team that they lead. I think there are two types of leaders with respect to stress: those who magnify it, and those who buffer it. I’ve worked with stress-magnifiers, and their actions and mannerisms cause stress to reverberate throughout the organization. I’ve also worked with stress-reducers, who seek to buffer the stress that is raining down on them from both the highest levels of the organization as well as external forces. I know I’m much more productive and engaged in an environment where I know my leader is seeking to buffer me from “perceived dangers” that exist in the environment and the organization.
(2) A Healthy Perspective on Your Job
The author of the book of Ecclesiastes (known as the Teacher…probably Solomon) acknowledges both the joys and the heartaches of work. From one perspective, he suggests that “a person can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in their own toil” (Ecclesiastes 2:24). But from another vantage point, he laments, “work…is meaningless, a chasing after the wind” (Ecclesiastes 2:17).
If we put those pieces together, we see that one key to stress management is a realistic satisfaction in work, while avoiding the pitfall of turning it into an idol. How many people do you know whose work is their life? I’ve observed many people who reach retirement age and don’t seem to have any reason to retire. What would they do with their lives? From my perspective, it’s healthier to have a life outside of work. Enjoy your job…do what you do with excellence, and try to help your organization improve. But have a life beyond your job…know what you’re going to do down the road. Someone recently told me, “You need to have an escape plan.” We all need an “escape plan” from our current jobs. How are you preparing your successors? How are you preparing yourself for something else in the future?
(3) The Importance of Supportive Relationships
Mark tells us that on the night of Jesus’ arrest and trials that he took “Peter, James, and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled” (14:33). Jesus wanted these three companions with him while he was struggling with the agony he was enduring.
Daniel Goleman, Richard Boyatzis, and Annie McKee in Primal Leadership point out the important role of human support in times of stress: “We rely on connections with other people for our own emotional stability… Research in intensive care units has shown that the comforting presence of another person not only lowers the patient’s blood pressure but also slows the secretion of fatty acids that block arteries. More dramatically, whereas three or more incidents of intense stress within a year (e.g., serious financial trouble, being fired, or a divorce) triple the death rate in socially-isolated middle-aged men, they have no impact whatsoever in the death rate of men who cultivate many close relationships.”
Jesus wanted his friends close by during his time of distress at the Garden of Gethsemane (see post on Keeping the Main Thing the Main Thing) and was disappointed to find them sleeping…not once…not twice…but three times! Even God’s Son wanted and needed the emotional support of this friends when he was struggling with a stressful situation.
This is another reason why it’s critical to build and maintain a strong leadership team surrounding you. We need friends to help manage our stress!
May these three tips help you be stress free today…tomorrow…and beyond, as you shoot for the stars!