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Despicable Nabal
As David and his men were getting ready to pass through Nabal’s property, David sent a few men to ask Nabal if he could spare anything: food, wool, drinks, anything—they weren’t choosy. But Nabal refused to give them even the time of the day. He grumbled loudly and sent them away with insults. How foolish!
Nabal should have known that David saved his nation from Goliath and the Philistines. He should have known the prophet Samuel had anointed David to be the next king. He should have known that David long protected Nabal’s men and possessions. But if Nabal knew any of these things, they didn’t matter to him. Nabal still refused to return David’s favor.
So was Nabal a criminal? Did he do anything illegal or immoral? Not really. He simply sabotaged his leadership by his lack of people skills.
Nabal serves as a prototype of many leaders today. Like Nabal, we can grow so consumed with our own work and personal life that we neglect the only eternal resource on this earth: people.
Why Did Nabal Fail? (1 Samuel 25)
- Nabal grew wealthy and satisfied and didn’t think he needed to build relationships (v. 2).
- Nabal became selfish and distrustful of others; he couldn’t overcome his evil temperament (v. 3).
- Nabal neither gave nor received encouragement; he had grown numb to positive attitudes (v. 6).
- Nabal forgot how others had blessed him in the past; he counted only his losses (v. 7-8).
- Nabal belittled people and forgot their names; his insecurity prevented generosity (v. 10).
- Nabal saw no reason to help others; he suffered from self-centered motives (v. 11).
- Nabal wanted to build only his own “kingdom,” not God’s (v. 11).
Nabal nearly provoked the slaughter of his whole household. Nabal’s name means “fool,” and he lived up to his name. A man without discernment, he selfishly refused to provide for David and his men. An enraged David gathered his troops to kill every male in Nabal’s home, and he would have done it—except for Abigail.
Healthy Abigail
Due to her rare courage, common sense, and some fabulous relational skills, she single-handedly saved her family from certain destruction. Note the following relationship lessons she teaches us:
- Risky Initiative: Abigail took the first step with David to resolve a sticky situation.
- Emotional Security: Abigail demonstrated inward security in her identity.
- Genuine Humility: Abigail submitted to David by falling at his feet and seeking his favor.
- Personal Responsibility: Abigail took responsibility for Nabal and explained his wicked behavior.
- Selfless Attitude: Abigail focused completely on David’s welfare and future success.
- Generous Spirit: Abigail gave David and his men a choice gift for their journey.
- Forthright Approach: Abigail directly asked David to forgive Nabal.
- Quick Wit: Abigail suggested David didn’t want a slaughter on his conscience.
- Eternal Perspective: Abigail saw David and their relationship from a divine perspective.
- Kind Affirmation: Abigail sought David’s benefit and gave him encouraging words.
The Stuff Good Relationships Are Made Of…
Out of This World Leaders grow their relational skills in the following manner:
- A Leader’s Head: Understand People – Abigail knew how to appeal to David in order to accomplish her goal.
- A Leader’s Heart: Love People – Abigail assumed the role of a servant, submitting to both David and her husband. She felt secure enough to serve.
- A Leader’s Hand: Help People – Abigail gave David and his men what they needed. She added value to him and thereby saved the life of her family.
Four Word Pictures to Improve Your Relational Skills
Embrace the following word pictures, and you’re sure to improve your relational skills:
- The Host: Just as a host takes initiative to make a guest feel comfortable, so we are to host the relationships in our lives.
- The Doctorst as a doctor does not give a prescription before first making a diagnosis, we are to poke and prod others with questions, so that our responses match the relevant need.
- The Counselor A good counselor actively listens. Since the #1 emotional need of people today is the need to be understood, we must deepen our listening skills.
- The Tour Guide: We hire tour guides to help reach our planned destinations. God wants us to serve as spiritual “tour guides” for others, helping them reach their potential.
The Rest of the Story…
In 1 Samuel 25:36-41, we learn that Nabal had a feast fit for a king and became very drunk. The next day, Abigail informed him what she had done, and Nabal’s “heart died within him, and he became like a stone.” Ten days later, the “Lord struck Nabal, and he died.”
When David heard Nabal was dead…he sent and proposed to Abigail to take her as his wife. Her response: “Here is your maidservant, a servant to wash the feet of the servants of my lord.”
God looked out for Abigail…and her Relational Skills were the key! May you learn from this great leader, as you shoot for the stars…