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Proper Speech
As described in NavPress’ LifeChange Series on Proverbs, Solomon has a great deal to say about what we say! The almost 150 references to the tongue, lips, and mouth indicate that proper speech is one of his top priorities.
In Proverbs 16:24, he refers to pleasant words as a honeycomb—both sweet and savory as well as good health to the listener.
Destruction vs. Healing
Solomon repeatedly emphasizes that the tongue can be a destructive or haling force, as contrasted in these three verses:
| Proverb | Destructive Force | Healing Force |
| 12:18 | Pierces like a sword | Brings healing |
| 15:1 | Stirs up anger | Turns away wrath |
| 15:4 | Crushes the spirit | Tree of life |
In Proverbs 6:16-19, three of the seven “abominations” (or things God hates) involve the tongue:
- #2 – Lying Tongue
- #6 – False Witness
- #7 – One Who Stirs Up Conflict in the Community
Bad Words
The childhood taunt says, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” The sentiment may be brave, but we know from painful memory that words can hurt a lot. Solomon’s proverbs speak straightforwardly of the harm that can come from words alone.
Gossip
In Proverbs 11:13, the word gossip literally means “one who goes about in slander.” Gossip is talking about someone who isn’t present when the motive is self-centered rather than to build someone up in love. Slander is saying negative things about someone who isn’t present.
Because gossip is so ingrained and the excuses are so easy and subtle, it’s a good idea to ask yourself some straight questions about information you want to share:
- Does this person really need to know in order to prevent harm or build someone up in love?
- What is the potential hurt to the people being discussed?
- What is my real reason for passing this along? Is it love for the person discussed and the hearer?
Proverbs 18:8 says, “The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts.” In his LifeGuide Bible Study on Proverbs, William Mouser paints a picture of the similarities between words of gossip and “a plate of tasty morsels—elaborately decorated cookies, petit fours, canapes, hors d’oeuveres, or something similar.”
Flattery
Proverbs 29:5 talks about those who flatter their neighbors, using a word that literally means “makes [a person] smooth.” The word flattery carries the idea of “smooth talk that deceives.”
Like smog, bad words are difficult to escape when they’re “in the air” all around us. Avoiding the harm of bad words is impossible if we are a source of them ourselves. Consider David’s prayer:
Good Words
Jesus said, “By your words you will be aquitted, and by your words you will be condemned” (Matthew 12:37). Our words possess an awesome power for evil, but they also have an awesome power for good.
Our words are always producing fruit—for good or ill. Strive to reproduce the beauty of wholesome speech and enjoy the blessings that good words bestow.
Wisdom’s Restraint
As Proverbs 15:1 puts it, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” In his Two Minutes in the Bible Through Proverbs, Boyd Bailey explains, “Hasty reactions are rarely helpful, so they often lead to regret. The flesh reacts, but the Spirit leads us to make measured responses. To make a measured response, we must quiet our impulses and take time to cool down, think, and process the issue in prayer. When we receive an e-mail that offends our pride or hurts our feelings, we refrain from firing back an immediate defense.”
Proverbs 25:15 goes on to say, “Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.” Another’s arrogance is agitating, but your humble response invites a calm conversation, so respond in love. The Lord can use our soft answers to soften hearts that need a Savior.
Proverbs 31:8-9 offers a different perspective. There is a time when you shouldn’t restrain your tongue—specifically when you need to defend the defenseless (including the poor and needy). This takes great discernment from the Lord…knowing when restraint is needed and when you need to step in as a defender for those who need one!
Tempered Talk
Proverbs 10:19 says, “Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues.” Increased words increase the probability of improper speech.
Ever notice how proud conversationalists can highjack a listener’s understanding with a horde of words without meaning? If your goal is to communicate, take the time to listen to the needs of your audience. People who feel cared for and understood have a keener sense of hearing and understanding.
There is a strong relationship between a righteous person’s heart and his words:
- “The heart of the righteous weighs his answers…” (Proverbs 15:28) The word weighs carries the idea of “carefully muses or meditates on.”
- “The hearts of the wise guide their mouths…” (Proverbs 16:23) This literally means “causes their mouths to be prudent.”
May you use Dictionary Day to focus on your words…and may they reflect a heart that is pursuing God, as you shoot for the stars!