Intentional Living: Choosing a Life That Matters Continued

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Your Life Can Be a Great Story

To be significant, all you have to do is make a difference with others wherever you are, with whatever you have, day by day.

In 1976, Maxwell received a gift from his assistant—a book entitled: The Greatest Story Ever Told. He couldn’t wait to read it. But when he opened it, he found the pages were blank. Inside was a note that said, “John, your life is before you. Fill these pages with kind acts, good thoughts, and matters of your heart. Write a great story with your life.”

So what’s the secret to filling the pages of your life? What’s the key to a life that matters? Living each day with intentionality.

People who live intentionally jump in and live the story themselves. The words of physicist Albert Einstein motivate them: “The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.”

There are three questions you need to ask and answer to test your readiness to be a catalyst for significance:

Can you be the best in the world at what you do? This question is about talent. You have skills and abilities that can help others. You are unique, and have a unique chance to make a difference only you can make—if you’re willing to get into your story.
Are you passionate about what you are doing? This question is about heart. Significance begins in the heart when we desire to make a difference. We see a need. We feel a hurt. We want to help. We act on it. Passion is the soul of significance. It’s the fuel. It’s the core.
Do you have the resources to change your world? This question is about tools.

In Maxwell’s book The Leadership Handbook, there is a chapter on legacy titled “People Will Summarize Your Life in One Sentence—Pick It Now.” Here is Maxwell’s sentence that provides a framework for the rest of this book: I Want to Make a Difference Doing Something That Makes a Difference, With People Who Make a Difference, At a Time That Makes a Difference.

Why Good Intentions Aren’t Enough

Maxwell’s father was intentional about his growth and development. Maxwell was paid for reading books for improvement, rather than taking out the garbage. The day he earned his driver’s license, before we got in the car to go home, Maxwell’s father told him, “I’m going to teach you the most important lesson you’ll ever learn about driving.” He pulled a book from his jacket pocket, and put it in the glove box. “There will be times when you’re stopped in traffic, stuck at a train track, or waiting for someone,” he said. “The best way to use that time and make it count is to read.” Therefore, Maxwell’s love of reading was intentionally instilled in him by his father.

The Seven Benefits of Intentional Living

1. Intentional Living Prompts Us to Ask, “What Is Significant in My Life?”

After observing dozens of successful people and reading many books, Maxwell concluded that successful people are good in four areas: relationships, equipping, attitude, and leadership. An unintentional life accepts everything and does nothing. An intentional life embraces only the things that will add to the mission of significance.

2. Intentional Living Motivates Us to Take Immediate Action in Areas of Significance

Napoleon Hill said it best when he observed, “You must get involved to have an impact. No one is impressed with the won-lost record of a referee.”

3. Intentional Living Challenges Us to Find Creative Ways to Achieve Significance

Intentional living says, “Here’s something I can do.” Unintentional living says, “Why doesn’t someone else do something?” Intentional living is all about knowing what you want. When you know what you want and can’t find what you need, you must create what you need, so you can get what you want!

4. Intentional Living Energizes Us to Give Our Best Effort to Do Significant Acts

Best-selling author Bob Moawad said, “Most people don’t aim too high and miss. They aim too low and hit.”

5. Intentional Living Unleashes the Power of Significance within Us

Zig Ziglar says, “If you will first help others get what they want, they will help you get what you want.”

6. Intentional Living Inspires Us to Make Every Day Count

John Wooden, who mentored Maxwell for several years, admonished everyone to make every day their masterpiece. This legendary coach of the UCLA Bruins basketball team once explained, “As a leader of my team, it was my responsibility to get the most out of my players. As a coach, I would ask myself every day, ‘How can I make my team better?’ I concluded that my team would improve when each player improved, and that only would happen when each player each day intentionally made that day his masterpiece.” Wooden’s teaching motivated Maxwell to write the book Today Matters. The thesis of that book states, “The secret of your success is determined by your daily agenda.”

7. Intentional Living Encourages Us to Finish Well

Anyone can be significant. You can be significant—but only if you begin living intentionally by…wanting to make a difference and doing something that makes a difference. When you find your sweet spot—your unique strength that makes a difference—you are able to increase your significance impact. Doing something with people who want to make a difference. Doing something at a time when it makes a difference.

I WANT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE

Start Small but Believe Big

Former NFL coach Tony Dungy once said, “Do the ordinary things better than anyone else and you will achieve excellence.” Here are some ways to start small but believe big:

Start Where You Are.
Start with Your One Thing. Henry David Thoreau wrote, “One is not born into the world to do everything, but to do something.” If you start with just a single penny and double it every day for thirty-one days, you end up with $21,474,836.48. Personal growth is like that. Practice your one thing with excellence daily, and you will get a return. It’s like putting money in the significance bank.
Start Watching Your Words. Solomon, who was reputed to be the wisest man who ever lived, said, “Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.” The words we need to embrace are we, can, will, and yes. What do we need to eliminate? Me, can’t, won’t, and no.
Start by Making Small Changes. When Mother Teresa wanted to start her work in Calcutta, she was asked what she must do to consider the work successful. “I do not know what success will be,” she replied, “but if the Missionaries of Charity have brought joy to one unhappy home—made one innocent child from the street keep pure for Jesus—one dying person die in peace with God—don’t you think… it would be worthwhile offering everything for just that one?”

Search Until You Find Your Why

Your why is the life’s blood of intentional living. If you know your why and focus on going there with fierce determination, you can make sense of everything on your journey because you see it through the lens of why. Once you find your why, you will be able to find your way.

In his book The Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren writes, “Humans were made to have meaning. Without purpose, life is meaningless. A meaningless life is a life without hope or significance. This is a profound statement and one that everyone should spend time pondering. God gives purpose. Purpose gives meaning. Meaning gives hope and significance. There is awesome truth contained within that logic.”

Knowing your why helps you to know what to do and to follow through. Here’s how:

Knowing Your Why Allows You to Focus More on Others and Less on Yourself. The sooner you know your why, the sooner you can shift your focus from yourself to others.
Living Out Your Why Gives You a Confidence That Is Attractive to Others. Purpose is the rudder on your boat. It gives you direction and keeps you going in the right direction when the wind is blowing and the waves are crashing against you. It provides calm and confidence in the midst of a storm. People who know their why can keep their heads while everything around them is in turmoil. And that draws others to them.
The More You Live Your Why, the More You Layer It
The More You Layer Your Why, the More Impact It Has on Others. Purpose is like a snowball rolling downhill—it builds over time. Doing the right thing for the right reason with the right people—over time—gives you a huge significance return, and ultimately a giant significance reputation.
Knowing Your Why Keeps You in the Game Longer. Maxwell wants his epitaph to say, “Here lies a man who lived with purpose and intentionality.” The question “How can I add value to others has been the foundation and driver of every significant act in Maxwell’s life.

Three Clues to Your Why:

Question 1: What Do You Cry About? This first question asks you to look inside yourself and think about what breaks your heart. What disturbs you? Leadership is Maxwell’s life; he gets an enormous charge from casting vision and then bringing people together to reach a level of significance that is impossible without a team effort.

Question 2: What Do You Sing About? What always makes you happy? What puts a bounce in your step? Poet Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”

Question 3: What Do You Dream About? What if you could do anything you wanted to make the world better?

Rabbi Harold Kushner writes, “Our souls are not hungry for fame, comfort, wealth, or power. Those rewards create almost as many problems as they solve. Our souls are hungry for meaning, for the sense that we have figured out how to live so that our lives matter, so that the world will be at least a little bit different for our having passed through it.” What meaning does your soul crave?

In his book Aspire Kevin Hall writes, “The first thing I do when I’m coaching someone who aspires to stretch, grow and go higher in life is to have that person select the one word that best describes him or her. Once a person does that, it’s as if he or she has turned to a page in a book and highlighted one word. Instead of seeing three hundred different words on the page, the person’s attention, and intention, is focused immediately on that single word, that single gift. What the individual focuses on expands.” What is your one word? What best describes you?

DOING SOMETHING THAT MAKES A DIFFERENCE

Put Other People First

Think about this. Self-centeredness is the root of virtually every problem—both personally and globally.

If we want to achieve significance, then we need to become intentional about getting beyond ourselves and putting other people first. Significance is always about others, and serving them intentionally. When you can change your thinking from “What am I going to receive?” to “What am I going to give?” your entire life begins to turn around.

If you want help taking steps away from self-centeredness and toward significance, then try doing the following:

Develop a Greater Appreciation for Other People.
Ask to Hear Other People’s Stories. It’s said that Fred Rogers, of Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood, kept this quote in his wallet: “There isn’t anyone you couldn’t learn to love once you’ve heard their story.”
Put Yourself in Other People’s Shoes.
Place Other People’s Interests at the Top of Your List of Priorities. As you start your day, are you wondering what you will reap, or are you wondering what you will sow? Are you waiting for others to do something for you, or are you busy looking for something to do for others? People who get outside of themselves and make a difference are looking for ways to sow.
Make Winning a Group Activity. John Wooden said, “Selfishness is the greatest challenge for a coach. Most players are more concerned with making themselves better than the team.” Wooden described an unselfish player as one who “showed an eagerness to lose himself to the group for the goal of the team.” If we want to change the world, then we must change.

Add Value to Others from Your Sweet Spot

If you’re a leader, the true measure of success is succession—what happens after you’re gone.

In Maxwell’s book Winning with People, he encourages leaders to use the Lens Principle, which says that who we are determines how we see others. In other words, we don’t see people as they are; we see people as we are. Speaker and author Brian Tracy said it this way: “There is a direct relationship between your own level of self-esteem and the health of your personality. The more you like and respect yourself, the more you like and respect other people. The more you consider yourself to be a valuable and worthwhile person, the more you consider others to be valuable and worthwhile as well. The more you accept yourself just as you are, the more you accept others just as they are.”

Positive thinking doesn’t build self-image. Positive acts do. Mother Teresa said, “One of the greatest diseases is to be nobody to anybody.”

If you want to impress people, talk about your successes. But if you want to impact people, talk about your failures. Telling self-deprecating stories in a conversational style helps get to a place where you can communicate with people in a way that makes them feel comfortable, without coming off as authoritarian.

From his 2010 book called Everyone Communicates, Few Connect, Maxwell describes seven practices that we can use to better connect with others:

Availability—I will choose to spend time with others.
Listening—I will listen my way to common ground.
Questions—I will be interested enough in others to ask questions.
Thoughtfulness—I will think of others and how to connect with them.
Openness—I will let people into my life.
Likeability—I will care about people.
Humility—I will think of myself less so I can think of others more.Where is your sweet spot for helping others and adding value to them? What’s the thing you can do that will make a difference in the world? What are you passionate about? What can you do that resonates so deeply in your soul that when you do it, you know your life is significant?

WITH PEOPLE WHO MAKE A DIFFERENCE

It is a fact that no person can achieve significance alone. It’s never been done, nor will it ever be. When you surround yourself with people who really want to make a difference, people who crave and are willing to work toward significance, there is always a way to make a difference, no matter the obstacles.Nine factors that attract people of significance to one another.

Connect with Like-Minded People

The Opportunity Factor – History tells us that in every age there comes a time when leaders must come forth to meet the needs of the hour. What opportunity do you see right now to make a difference?
The Belief Factor – Do you believe people are coming to you to help you make a difference?
The Possibility Factor – The pathway of possibility is filled with trade-offs. Why? Because there is no significance without sacrifice. Trade Affirmation for Accomplishment. Trade Security for Significance. Trade Financial Gain for Future Potential. Trade Immediate Pleasure for Personal Growth. Trade Exploration for Focus. Trade Quantity of Life for Quality of Life. Trade Acceptable for Excellent. Trade Addition for Multiplication. Trade the First Half for the Second Half. What are you willing to give up to make a difference?
The Faith Factor – Fear is the most prevalent reason why people stop. Faith is what makes people start. Fear is the key that locks the door to the resources. Faith is the key that opens that door. Feed your faith and starve your fear. Most people ask God for knowledge first, and then move. God wants us to move first and then He gives us knowledge. Philip Yancey says, “We’re concerned with how things turn out; God seems more concerned with how we turn out.” Our acting on faith is often how God grows us. Is my faith greater than my fear?
The Challenge Factor … the dream is bigger than all my abilities and acquaintances. Are you challenged to stretch to significance?
The Attitude Factor – Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, “The biggest job in getting any movement off the ground is to keep together the people who form it.” Maxwell’s friend once told him, “When life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate. When life is bitter, say thank you and grow.” That’s a great attitude. And it’s the kind of attitude required to make a difference and connect with other difference makers. We don’t always choose what happens to us, but we can always determine how we respond. When we choose the right attitude even when things are going wrong, that is highly attractive and appealing to the people who partner with us. Is your attitude an asset or liability?
The Winning Factor – Our dream allows us to attract winners because big dreams draw big people. Dreams often come one size too big so that we can grow into them. Are you connecting with winners to achieve significance?
The Promise Factor – Our dream is the promise of what we shall one day be. A dream requires a partner: commitment. Dreams are free. However, the journey to fulfill them isn’t. You have to work for your dream. Your dream doesn’t work for you. You have to work with the dream and for the dream. The dream is a promise of what you can be, but commitment is the reality of what you will become. What starts as a promise ends as a commitment. Have you committed to a path with great promise for you and others?
The Invitation Factor – A dream is greater than any of our gifts. If you think leadership is getting people to follow you, you may be a good leader. But if you think leadership is getting people to follow a great cause, you have the potential to be a great leader. If your why is big enough to excite you, then, as you share it, it will excite others—especially those who share your passion and dream. The size of your why will determine the size of your response. In 1941, this is what South African antiapartheid activist Walter Sisulu wrote about Nelson Mandela: “We wanted to be a mass movement and then one day a mass leader walked into the office.” Are you ready to start inviting others to join you in living a life that matters?

Partner with Like-Valued People

As Maxwell put it in the Law of the Inner Circle in The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, “A leader’s potential is determined by those closest to him.”A community helps us go farther, and when it’s a community of talented, like-valued, complementary people, we can actually go faster, too. Great partnerships make you better than you are, multiply your value, enable you to do what you do best, allow you to help others do their best, give you more time, provide you with companionship, help you fulfill the desires of your heart, and compound your vision and effort.

People who want to make a difference expand their worlds over the years from me to we. Mother Teresa said, “I cannot do what you can do. You cannot do what I can do. Together we can do great things.” Nothing is more rewarding than a common mission being achieved by people with complementary gifts working together in harmony.

An African proverb that says it best: “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” Speaker and consultant Sam Chand described the difference between ladder climbers and ladder builders. He says, “We all start out life climbing our own ladders and living for ourselves. Over time, some people begin to shift from climbing to their own success, and they start building ladders for others to climb.” When you partner with the right person, it’s like 1 + 1 = 3. There is a synergy that comes when the right people are working together. For example, two horses can pull about nine thousand pounds together. How many pounds can four horses pull? Without synergy, you’d do the math and assume the answer is eighteen thousand pounds. That would be reasonable, but it would be wrong. Four horses working together can actually pull over thirty thousand pounds. Synergy makes the whole greater than the simple sum of its parts.Author and speaker Brian Tracy wrote, “You are a living magnet. You are invariably attracting to your life people and situations in harmony with your dominant thoughts.”

AT A TIME THAT MAKES A DIFFERENCE

Live with a Sense of Anticipation

Anticipation is a wonderfully proactive and intentional word for seeking out significance. People with anticipation plan to be significant. They expect to live a life that matters every day. They prepare to do significant acts. They position themselves physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially to make a difference in the lives of others. Their sense of anticipation for significance draws them forward.

What does a strong sense of anticipation do for us? It does five things:

Anticipation Causes Us to Value Today. When you live with intentionality, you know and understand that every day is your time to make a difference. It’s not someday, one day, or maybe tomorrow. It’s today.
Anticipation Prompts Us to Prepare. Wayne Gretzky is undoubtedly the greatest hockey player ever. He explained his success this way:

That is a great illustration of anticipation.

3. Anticipation Helps Us Generate Good Ideas. When you have an idea, if you think it’s the only one you’ll ever come up with, you hoard it. However, if you anticipate that you will have more ideas, you’re willing to share it.

4. Anticipation Prompts Us to Look for Ways to Help Others.

5. Anticipation Helps Us Possess an Abundance Mindset. People who live in the world of scarcity think, “There’s only one pie, so I’d better get as big a slice as I can before it’s all gone.” People who live in the world of abundance think very differently. They know there’s always more. As others scramble and try to grab their slice of pie, people with an abundance mindset think, “That’s OK. We’ll just bake another pie.”

Do two things to help you be ready. First, gather your resources. Think about what you have that you can use to help others. Second, create margins in your life. Many people fail to make a difference because they are so busy. They move so fast that they don’t see the opportunities, or they have so much to do that they believe they don’t have the time to stop and help. Don’t be one of those people!

Be Urgent about Seizing Significance Opportunities

In our harried and busy lives, is there ever a convenient time to make a difference? Probably not. Is there ever a right time? Yes. It’s now—when we see the opportunity! When Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in 1968, there was a quote that was often associated with him and his brother President John F. Kennedy. “There are those that look at things as they are and ask, ‘Why?’ I dream of things that never were and ask, ‘Why not?’”

You can make a significance impact in the following ways:

Be the First to Help Someone. The people who most often make the biggest difference are the people who are first to step up and help at a time when it makes a difference.
Take a Risk When the Potential for Significance Is High. Don’t ever dismiss an opportunity just because it has risks—because everything has risks. If you’re going to have a bias in a direction, have a bias toward action. In the end, people most often regret the chances they failed to take, not the chances they took that failed.
Do What You Know Is Right, Even with No Promise of Return. There are times when we are faced with opportunities to do things that we know are right, even if we don’t know where they will lead or what will result. If you maintain a sense of urgency and obey your instinct to do the right thing, especially when it plays to your strengths, it may have a greater impact than you would ever dream. Apostle Paul advised, “So let’s not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don’t give up, or quit. Right now, therefore, every time we get the chance, let us work for the benefit of all.”
Give to Your Peers at a Time When It Makes a Difference.
Plant the Seeds of Intentionality in Children. When we are young, the books our parents read to us have the power to imprint values upon us and encourage us, even at the youngest age. Early reading is how many children learn life’s basics, including colors, numbers, letters, and stories. The sooner they understand the value of living with intentionality, the more quickly they can start living lives of significance. What we teach our children to love and appreciate is far more important than what we teach them to know. Two questions Maxwell focus on both for his children and for himself are, “What did you love, and what did you learn?” Why? Because our best teacher isn’t experience. It’s evaluated experience.

Are you choosing to live with intentionality, not just good intentions?

Are you actively searching for your why so that you can make a difference?

Are you trying to add value to others from your sweet spot to make a difference?

Are you trying to partner with like-valued people to make a difference?

Are you seizing opportunities and taking action to make a difference?

Are you living with a sense of anticipation for making a difference?

Are you connecting with like-minded people who make a difference?

Have you put other people first to make a difference?

Are you willing to start small but believe big to make a difference?

Are you choosing to live a story of significance?

Significance is not a destination thing—it’s a daily thing. As John Wooden used to say, “Make every day your masterpiece.”