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Several studies indicate that 70% of children who grow up attending church with their family will walk away from church—and often God—when they become teenagers and young adults. We certainly don’t want that, so we explore the 7 Realities of Experiencing God first made popular by Henry Blackaby (more than 3 million of his workbooks have been distributed worldwide), as written by his sons Tom & Richard Blackaby:
7 Realities of Experiencing God
1. God is Always at Work Around Us
As Oswald Chambers said, “Spiritual insight does not so much enable us to understand God as to understand that He is at work in the ordinary things of life, in the ordinary stuff human nature is made of.”
Parents should watch their children for clues that a divine work is occurring. We do this by observing their behavior, carefully listening to what they say, praying with and for them, and being sensitive to what the Holy Spirit alerts us about them. Well-meaning parents can assume that what they want for their children must also be what God wants. If parents are not careful, they can unwittingly oppose or hinder the very work in their children’s lives that they have been praying for.
2. God Calls Us Into a Love Relationship
God built within each of us the innate desire to love and to be loved. He created within us a need that only He can meet. Parents who work to create an environment where kids want to follow God more often than not have children who grow to love God. That’s because when we enjoy God, love to be with His people, appreciate His blessings, and find great pleasure in spending time with Him, our children notice. They know what we really care about.
There comes a time in each person’s life when they must own their faith. They can no longer relate to God through their parents’ convictions or trust in God because their relatives do. Helping our children get past a shallow relationship with God into a deeper walk with Him is our goal. Until God becomes personal to them, they will always see church as a ritual, a routine, and a religious activity, but not a place to encounter the living and loving God.
Just like the Blackabys, Jennifer and I want our kids to understand that the essence of the Christian life is not about the rules you follow but the relationship you enjoy.
3. God Invites Us to Become Involved with Him in His Work
God has absolutely no need for people. Yet, He chooses to involve us—His frail, fallible creatures—to join Him in conducting His work. Sadly, many children who grow up in Christian homes come away with the skewed perception that Christianity is fundamentally about following rules and being forbidden from having fun. The majority of the conversations with their parents about Christianity center on how they are not measuring up. These parents act more like prison wardens than dispensers of blessing.
As parents, we often tend to focus on behavior. God concentrates on character. The reason is simple. Character drives our actions. When you focus on developing character, you don’t have to provide an extensive list of rules and regulations. People of character will find a way to do the right thing whether they have been told what to do or not.
The key is getting your kids to see the world around them and to discover how God wants to use their lives to change the world.
4. God Speaks by the Holy Spirit through the Bible, Prayer, Circumstances and the Church to Reveal Himself, His Purposes, and His Ways
It is extremely important that parents model “seeking God” for their children. The Blackabys note that God “speaking” can mean: “leading us”; “impressing upon us”; “compelling us”; or “revealing to us in His word, in a dream, or in a vision.”
Bible: The most straightforward and reliable way to hear God speak is to read Scripture and ask the Holy Spirit to help you understand its meaning as well as application for your life.
Prayer: Having an ongoing conversation with God throughout the day is what Paul meant when he challenged us to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17)
Circumstances: God is an expert at engineering circumstances to provide answers and direction for your questions. Some people mistake an “open door” or a “closed door” as clear evidence of God’s activity. God may indeed open a door, but not every open door is from God. For example, Satan offered several “open doors” for Jesus to walk through that would have destroyed His ministry (Matthew 4). The key is to seek God’s interpretation of your situation.
Church: Christ dwells in every believer, so when you encounter another Christian, you have the possibility of hearing from Christ (John 13:20). We should never discount what God could say to us through any fellow believer. Since parenting is one of the most challenging leadership roles you will ever be given, we need God’s guidance. Therefore, parents are well served by seeking counsel from other believers, who are on this journey called parenthood.
5. God’s Invitation for You to Work with Him Always Leads to a Crisis of Belief That Requires Faith and Action
For many Christians, our biggest challenge is not knowing what God’s will is—it’s doing it. Every time God speaks, we face a decision: will we believe Him and obey or not?
God will continually put your life into a position where you must have faith. We tend to nestle ourselves into a comfort zone where we never have to do anything that stretches us or is too difficult or painful.
Unfortunately, many children face a crisis of belief, but their parents don’t recognize it as such. Young adults become intimidated by what lies before them, and they downsize their dreams. They allow fear or doubts to guide them rather than the Holy Spirit.
6. You Must Make Major Adjustments in Your Life to Join God in What He is Doing
We cannot remain where we are–doing the same things we have always done–and go with God! One truth that should give parents pause is that children who grow up in selfish homes tend to become selfish themselves. If we are reluctant to make adjustments in our walk with God, then our children will follow our lead.
We must realize that we cannot take people to places spiritually where we haven’t gone ourselves. If we want to see our children go deep in their walk with God, then we must go there first. We cannot go with God and stay where we are! The reason more Christians are not experiencing God is that they are unwilling to make the adjustments required to join God in His work.
7. You Come to Know God by Experience as You Obey Him and He Accomplishes His Purposes Through You
Confucius once said, “Tell me and I’ll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I’ll understand.” Similarly, the Christian life was not meant to be read about but to be experienced.
Our children don’t need to merely hear about what God did in the Bible, or through missionaries, or even in our lives. They need to experience God firsthand.
We experience God as we obey Him. In America today, the word obedience is not very popular. Unfortunately, even in the church, many pastors avoid emphasizing obedience because it seems too demeaning. But the truth is that God declared that as we obey Him, we will experience Him.
As parents, we shouldn’t be satisfied until every member of our family has a meaningful way to serve Christ in our church.
As we consider Experiencing God at Home, King Solomon’s words ring true: “A good name is to be chosen over great wealth; favor is better than silver and gold.” The key to leaving a spiritual legacy is faithfulness to God, a desire to know Him, and honoring Christ with your life.
The Blackabys suggest accountability at the end of each year with your family. Conduct a year-end review when you discuss what God accomplished through your family over the course of the year. Reflecting on stories of God working through your family is a great way to build a spiritual tradition and a legacy of faithfulness in your home.
May your spiritual legacy be strong, as you shoot for the stars!
